Humor – Page 7

I don’t want that in my ice cream

About I don’t want that in my ice cream:

Sophie, ten (but she might be eight and a half or nine and three-quarters) puts on her mummy’s shoes and clip-clops into disaster and guilt. When her ‘best-est’ friend Jessica is on holiday, Sophie is so desperate for someone to play with that she ends up at the home of the weirdest girl in her school, who has a morbid interest in funerals… for soft toys.
As for their invented language, not only do Sophie and her ‘best-est’ friend understand it, but so do sinister beings from elsewhere in the universe.
After a hard day at school, she is horrified to be lectured at by complete strangers on subjects ranging from cinema to doggie poo. She finds herself swimming in a cup of weak tea with a toad, travelling back in time to WWII, and featuring in a bizarre documentary.
Step into the Kafkaesque and weird world of Sophie, her cantankerous mother and her doting daddy.

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The ISIS Affair: Putting the Fun Back in Fundamentalism by David Rich

About The ISIS Affair: Putting the Fun Back in Fundamentalism by David Rich:

It’s a Mad, Mad World + Ishtar + Raiders of the Lost Ark = The ISIS Affair
Meet the most unlikely outlaws – two backpacking curmudgeons. One is a crotchety Brit, and the other is an ancient American.
When they attempt to smuggle priceless world heritage antiquities to safety, they find themselves in the crosshairs of none other than ISIS.
Their best-laid plans are thwarted by the hapless smugglers themselves. If not for a Yazidi Joan of Arc, these gents may not survive at all.
Sit back, relax, and enjoy this black comedy and satire on religion and nationalism that puts the fun back in fundamentalism.

alias11

5.0 out of 5 stars Laugh out loud funny
Reviewed in the United States on March 28, 2021
I really enjoyed this hilarious, wild, chaotic, laugh out loud funny satire. Two old men are chased by ISIS as they wander across Syria. If you need a break from these trying times, or just a good laugh, READ THIS BOOK!

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STAR TREK NATION : An Englishman’s view of America

About STAR TREK NATION : An Englishman’s view of America:

Professor Lyndon N. Smith’s first book Why You Can’t Catch a Rocket to Mars was a light-hearted foray into the future, which went to #1 bestseller in all the Amazon categories it was listed under and received almost exclusively 5-star reviews. Now, having given us a whirlwind tour of science and technology, in this new book he focuses his attention squarely on the New World. Star Trek Nation: An Englishman’s view of America is a desultory and humorous telling-off of Americans that will be engrossing for you if you experienced, or have interest in, the TV, music, and/or atmosphere of the 1960s and 70s. The model the Professor uses for understanding Yanks is Star Trek and the lens through which he views them is Sherlock Holmes’ magnifying glass. So, if you have any interest in these legends of Anglo-American popular culture, you must read this book to fully appreciate how the reserved folks in the Old Country view the loud dudes one finds stateside, and vice versa. To cut a long story short, the Prof’s conclusion is that we in Olde England love you and we need you! (As I’m sure Ozzy Osbourne once said.) Even so, like most Brits, the Professor is not shy of tackling such important questions as: why do Yanks drive on the right (i.e. wrong) side of the road, what have they got against (hot) tea, and when are they going to get smart (as Trump would say), and adopt The Queen as their head of state? To get the answers, read on…

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Bombing In Bingham

About Bombing In Bingham:

It seems to never be a dull day in the life of rookie police officer Paul Jamison!

Paul always wanted to be a police officer. His first step on the path to reaching that goal involved the role he played in stopping “The Great Cherry Bomb Attack” at his elementary school when he was in the fifth grade. Now, at long last, his dream was coming true. He was joining the ranks of the City of Bingham’s elite Police Department.

He knew he would have to work his way up in the ranks at the department. And he was more than ready to do just that. His adventures take him from solving “The Great Convenience Store Robbery” of a couple of candy bars and soda pop to piecing together evidence involving bombings that begin to rock the city.

Along the way he encounters a feisty old woman who thinks she’s saving gas by not turning on her headlights after dark to teenagers who call 911 over a dispute of what to watch on television.

But he knows, it’s all part of the job. And he wouldn’t trade it for the world.

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The Purebred and the Mutt by Dani Haviland

About The Purebred and the Mutt by Dani Haviland:

She was a backwoods mechanic who didn’t watch TV and loved classic rock music. He was a world-famous reality TV star in a series that featured fast cars. After a fiery crash in his ’64 Mustang, they wind up together under the same roof in Forever, Montana. All looks promising for romance until a crazed fan arrives. And then there was the stowaway skunk… Fun romantic comedy!

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Pianist in a Bordello

About Pianist in a Bordello:

Pianist in a BordelloWhat would happen if a politician decided to tell the truth—the whole truth? Richard Youngblood, aspiring Congressman, is about to find out. He’s running on a platform of honesty and transparency—and against the advice of his friends and advisers he’s decided to start with himself. His autobiography will lay his entire life bare before voters just days before the election.And what a life he’s had. Born in a commune and named Richard Milhous Nixon Youngblood as an angry shot at his absent father, Richard grows up in the spotlight, the son of an enigmatic fugitive and the grandson of a Republican senator. He’s kidnapped and rescued, kicked out of college for a prank involving turkeys, arrested in Hawaii while trying to deliver secrets to the CIA…Dick Nixon Youngblood’s ready to tell all. He’ll even tell his readers about the Amandas—three women who share a name but not much else, and who each have helped shape and define the man he’s become. Are voters really ready for the whole truth?Are you?Pianist in a Bordello is a hilarious political romp through the last four decades of American history, from a narrator who is full of surprises.

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The Weighing Of The Heart: A Cautionary Tale

About The Weighing Of The Heart: A Cautionary Tale:

I Went To The Apocalypse And All I Got Was This Codpiece

Hey, it’s me, your pal Thoth, ibis-headed ancient Egyptian god of writing and magic. Like any good narrator, I’m actually a part of this story. I’ve been infatuated with the bovine goddess Hathor since I can remember. The problem is, she wants nothing to do with me and my birdy self. I have my own way of dealing with rejection, but can you believe my brother Set is a frustrated incel who takes out his rage on the world? He’s bent on the destruction of humanity! He even enlists the help of ancient mummified pharaoh Djet to set off a plague that reflects the depravity of his perverted soul…

Then there’s Akins, nerdy human Scribe living in Thebes who finds himself caught in the middle of all of this. A man after my own heart, he’s spent his life devoted to his craft and suddenly Set’s insanity turns his world inside and out. He’s gotta put up or… well, not shut up. More like he’s gotta put up or die. Same goes for Water Lily, apprentice to the renowned Apothecary Safiya. She just wants to learn her trade in peace. But instead of customers and mortars and pestles, the former street rat finds herself to be the last bastion of hope in the struggle for the very world!

No pressure!

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We’re All A Mess, It’s OK by Amy Lyle

We’re All A Mess, It’s OK by Amy Lyle

These humorous essays and quips are about the blunders and snafus, and of everyday life that most of us can relate to. It’s like “Chicken Soup for the Soul” if you threw in snark and expletives. If you like Jenn Mann, Samantha Kirby, and Jenny Lawson, you will love “We’re All A Mess. It’s OK.” Get a copy for your funniest friends, or for grouchy people to cheer them up.

The book is an easy read and offers a real message that we all can survive, even the worst of failures and ultimately, even though we’re all a mess, it’s OK.

The number one best-selling author of “The Amy Binegar-Kimmes-Lyle Book Of Failures” brings you her newest gem, “We’re All A Mess. It’s OK.” Over one hundred contributors share their failures, setbacks, and most embarrassing moments for this compilation of hilarity with the hopes that their stories would give the embarrassed and struggling souls some comic and inspirational relief. A Good reads Top 10 Best Humor pick!
Life is riddled with pain, disappointments, and failures, but given enough time, they’re folly. “We’re All A Mess. It’s OK” captures life’s most absurd moments honestly and without a filter. It’s filled with funny essays and one-liners that highlight the grainier sides of being human and imperfect.

The book covers everything from horrible internet dating experiences, the strangest of co-workers, vacations that went array, to the worst holiday gifts of all time. It’s an anthology of real-life disasters.

You’ll enjoy, “You Must Have Me Confused With Someone Else” which depicts Dane Levent’s severe behavior problems with her golden retriever, Buddy, after picking him up from boarding, only to find out a week later that she had the wrong dog.

And… “He’s Worth the Wait” by Bes. D describes her mother-in-law’s long-term relationship with a convicted felon she had met on Meet-An-Inmate.com.

And… “Saying ‘I’m Sorry’ Will Not Fix This Situation” by Ashley P. is a hilarious tale of turning her best date into her worst date by leaping onto her partner’s lap, causing what is called in medical terminology, a penile fracture.

And… Follow along with Traci Jo’s daily embarrassment by her mother, picking her up from school wearing different wigs, such as Dorothy Hamill and Marilyn Monroe.

And… Read an entire chapter dedicated to strange conditions, such as Shelley Miner Gardler’s need to gather her pets before she goes to work to tell them goodbye and to assign one to be in charge while she’s away.

And… Discover why Christine T sorts M&Ms in ROYGBIV order and eats them first by frequency until they’re even, and then one of each color in order until they’re gone.

These humorous essays and quips are about the blunders and snafus, and of everyday life that most of us can relate to. It’s like “Chicken Soup for the Soul” if you threw in snark and expletives. If you like Jenn Mann, Samantha Kirby, and Jenny Lawson, you will love “We’re All A Mess. It’s OK.” Get a copy for your funniest friends, or for grouchy people, maybe it will cheer them up.

The book is an easy read and offers a real message that we all can survive, even the worst of failures and ultimately, even though we’re all a mess, it’s OK.

Buy the book, and follow the author on social media:

Learn more about the writer. Visit the Author’s Website.

Get This Humor Book From Amazon.

Visit the Author’s Facebook Fan Page.

Visit the Author’s Twitter page.

Pianist in a Bordello

About Pianist in a Bordello:

Pianist in a BordelloWhat would happen if a politician decided to tell the truth—the whole truth? Richard Youngblood, aspiring Congressman, is about to find out. He’s running on a platform of honesty and transparency—and against the advice of his friends and advisers he’s decided to start with himself. His autobiography will lay his entire life bare before voters just days before the election.And what a life he’s had. Born in a commune and named Richard Milhous Nixon Youngblood as an angry shot at his absent father, Richard grows up in the spotlight, the son of an enigmatic fugitive and the grandson of a Republican senator. He’s kidnapped and rescued, kicked out of college for a prank involving turkeys, arrested in Hawaii while trying to deliver secrets to the CIA…Dick Nixon Youngblood’s ready to tell all. He’ll even tell his readers about the Amandas—three women who share a name but not much else, and who each have helped shape and define the man he’s become. Are voters really ready for the whole truth?Are you?Pianist in a Bordello is a hilarious political romp through the last four decades of American history, from a narrator who is full of surprises.

Buy the book:

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I Never Lied to You

About I Never Lied to You:

Holidays can be stressful. Especially if you are a handsome man with no social skills who suddenly gets dumped by his girlfriend.
And like that wasn’t enough, your quirky sister convinces you to participate in a fishy experiment. What could go wrong?

Apparently, everything that Peter, the unfortunate subject of the experiment, can imagine. But along that hilarious ride, he will find a few unexpected surprises. And maybe even a real miracle.

The Christmas romantic comedy I Never Lied to You (Well, Almost) is a feel-good story filled with twists, unusual characters, weird family members, embarrassing friends, and above all a lot of love.

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Johnny Two Kebabs – The Prequel

About Johnny Two Kebabs – The Prequel:

On 15th June 2011 an extraordinary event took place in Brixton, south London. An Irishman ingested two doner kebabs in 1 minute 59 seconds after already having consumed 13 pints of lager. Now, for the first time, the true story of the events leading up to this feat is recounted by the protagonist, “Johnny Two Kebabs.” In this “prequel” Johnny also relates how in his role as a “conscious vigilante” he tracked down and brought to justice a dangerous armed robber. This is the story of Johnny Two Kebabs.

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Thaddeus Clute: A Gripping and Humorous Flash Fiction Short Story by Karen Court

About Thaddeus Clute: A Gripping and Humorous Flash Fiction Short Story by Karen Court:

A well-crafted short story should be able to pack a lot of information into just a few words and sentences. Adroitly handled, the first paragraph should suggest a full, rich scenario that is rounded out by the reader’s existing perception of the problem that is revealed. The reader can easily imagine what is going on around the main character just from the few words they are given.

In this short story, an unemployed man desperately seeking work is forced to play a grim game of cat and mouse with his creditors, who are closing in.

It is a scintillating snapshot of the real life struggles that too many of us get to face at some point in our lives. The reader will relate to how the character is feeling and understand his actions and his responses, just as if they were caught in the same situation.

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OOF: An Online Outrage Fiesta for the Ages by Strobe Witherspoon

OOF: An Online Outrage Fiesta for the Ages by Strobe Witherspoon

Award-winning novelist and cultural critic Strobe Witherspoon interrogates his own profession. It goes terribly.

“Wildly entertaining …Sometimes sad and sometimes hilarious, Witherspoon’s timely metafictional novel explores the ways (mis)information can shape public discourse in the digital media age.” – Booklife by Publishers Weekly

”Strikingly original …an innovative literary experiment that supplies a thoughtful commentary on the ‘discourse virus’ of our age …Witherspoon tackles a broad spectrum of media, including comically scathing excerpts from tweets, podcasts, blogs, and even academic journals and also keenly exposes the ways in which Strobe, the character, is implicated in his own online assault, due to his obsessive attachment to public life.” – Kirkus Reviews

OOF explores the role of satire in a society lurching from one ridiculous crisis to the next, where media outlets rely on clicks to stay alive and everything is filtered through a lens of anger and misinformation.

————
Strobe Witherspoon just sold his latest satirical novel for a lot of money. The book in question, FLOTUS: A Memoir, is a fictitious autobiography about a former first lady of the United States reflecting on years of misery at the hands of her much older POTUS husband. When a chapter is leaked in advance of the book’s publication, an Online Outrage Fiesta (OOF) ensues via news outlets, blogs, Twitter, troll farms, and everything in between. Witherspoon has his life placed under a microscope. Family secrets are exposed. Now, an anthology has been put together to document Witherspoon’s downfall—and settle the score.
————

”an impressive achievement of unflinching honesty from a noteworthy talent, as resonant and relevant as it is entertaining …OOF tugs at the threads that connect American cynicism with radical extremism and weaves a character-rich tapestry of insight …Each voice, whether of a New Yorker journalist or an Internet influencer, is rendered with uncanny fidelity. Perhaps most masterful is that key events are not depicted but merely alluded to, allowing the text to provide an elegant framework for a more personal story painted almost invisibly in the negative space.”– BlueInk Review

Buy the book, and follow the author on social media:
Learn more about the writer. Visit the Author’s Website.
Get This Humor Book From Amazon.
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Girth by Alex Henderson

About Girth by Alex Henderson:

Size matters. Or at least it does to Ed, nit-picking quantity surveyor and captain of his local pub football team who has faked a business trip abroad to get some cheap plastic surgery.

Ed intends to be even more of a man upon his return. But has he managed to keep this as secret as he thinks? Will this really be such a wonderful surprise for Fiona on their wedding night? And just who is this operation for anyway?

Alex Henderson’s outrageous comedy debut shows what it means to be a man with a small problem that just got bigger.

Much bigger!

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The Weighing Of The Heart: A Cautionary Tale

About The Weighing Of The Heart: A Cautionary Tale:

I Went To The Apocalypse And All I Got Was This Codpiece

Hey, it’s me, your pal Thoth, ibis-headed ancient Egyptian god of writing and magic. Like any good narrator, I’m actually a part of this story. I’ve been infatuated with the bovine goddess Hathor since I can remember. The problem is, she wants nothing to do with me and my birdy self. I have my own way of dealing with rejection, but can you believe my brother Set is a frustrated incel who takes out his rage on the world? He’s bent on the destruction of humanity! He even enlists the help of ancient mummified pharaoh Djet to set off a plague that reflects the depravity of his perverted soul…

Then there’s Akins, nerdy human Scribe living in Thebes who finds himself caught in the middle of all of this. A man after my own heart, he’s spent his life devoted to his craft and suddenly Set’s insanity turns his world inside and out. He’s gotta put up or… well, not shut up. More like he’s gotta put up or die. Same goes for Water Lily, apprentice to the renowned Apothecary Safiya. She just wants to learn her trade in peace. But instead of customers and mortars and pestles, the former street rat finds herself to be the last bastion of hope in the struggle for the very world!

No pressure!

Buy the book:

Buy the Book On Amazon.

THE VINTAGE LADIES COLLECTION. Volume One: The Perfect Present for Ladies who Love to Laugh by Marilyn Messik

THE VINTAGE LADIES COLLECTION. Volume One: The Perfect Present for Ladies who Love to Laugh by Marilyn Messik

Packed with over 100 glorious Vintage Images & Humor, this Free Kindle Book introduces you to the VINTAGE LADIES.
If you love to laugh, enjoy gorgeous photos, fashion and lifestyle from years gone by, the VINTAGE LADIES might be just up your street. They could also sort out your holiday GIFT GIVING list because they make perfect presents. Other goodies (in paperback format) are The Vintage Ladies Everlasting Diary, Personal Journal, Book Lovers Log, and Notebook & Planner.

Buy the book, and follow the author on social media:
Learn more about the writer. Visit the Author’s Website.
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How I Found The G Spot

About How I Found The G Spot:

In this second volume of his memoirs, Johnny describes how he infiltrated a dangerous gang of “activists” and thwarted a plot to carry out a series of attacks in the U.K. We also learn more about Johnny Two Kebabs “the man” as opposed to just the public figure. We gain more insight into Johnny’s “inner journey” as well his “outer journey” when he describes his experience of partaking of “The Kebab Of Truth.”

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The Neophyte

About The Neophyte:

THE NEOPHYTE chronicles the unusual and breathtaking coming of age of a young man from the backlands of Georgia. From the safety of the Convent of the Righteous Path to the risky nightspots like The Fetal Attraction and The Ice Palace, we witness his metamorphosis into manhood.

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The Day the Government Banned Bacon: The Last Straw Before Violent Revolution Kindle Edition

About The Day the Government Banned Bacon: The Last Straw Before Violent Revolution Kindle Edition:

You thought vaccine mandates were bad? Take our guns. Take our freedom. But don’t take our bacon.

Although this is fictional, it is based on legal situations people in many countries are becoming all too familiar with. The impotence of having laws created that seem illogical, rely on so-called expert advice and arbitrarily remove the rights and liberties of ordinary people. I say ordinary because in most cases – the corporations and/or influential people seem to be exempt to these rules.

This story shows us what can happen when people are pushed just that step too far.

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The Business Proposal

About The Business Proposal:

Byron has all the professional merit of a published marriage counselor, but all too often his clients and critics balk at his one missing credential: He’s never been married. Julie is fed up with being single: her nagging mother, the unwelcomed advances from her coworker, the awkward set ups with weird guys she doesn’t like, and the occasional great guy who doesn’t like her. When her best friend hands her a newspaper ad seeking a strictly separate marriage with a stipend attached, they laugh, but later she wonders if it’s a crazy idea that could end her singlehood woes. But is she giving up on true love too soon? In this clean romantic comedy, what starts as a mutually beneficial business arrangement becomes an increasingly complex web of deceit, mishaps, ambiguity, and even heartbreak before Byron and Julie realize they’ve somehow put much more than their signatures on the line.

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