Humor

Life Begins When The Kids Leave Home And The Dog Dies

About Life Begins When The Kids Leave Home And The Dog Dies:

FREE for one week only starting 1 May 2021.

Chapter 1. A California girl named Barb met her prince of a guy. He was tall, dark, and handsome. (Actually, he was a Republican. But he was definitely tall.) They fell in love, and got married.

Chapter 2. He brought her to his castle in England and they lived happily ever after. THE END**

**Luckily, 35+ years of living happened between Chapters 1 and 2, giving Barb plenty of material for this collection (in no particular chronological order) from her newspaper columns, articles, blog posts, and that time she killed Mom.

And that’s before Chapter 3 even starts.

“I have learned to put down the coffee and place breakable objects at a safe distance when a post from Barb Taub comes up. It is very hard to drink coffee and laugh at the same time without redecorating the desk…”—author Sue Vincent

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the Singularity

About the Singularity:

The Singularity has been realized and initiated by a group of Hong Kong programmers. Their artificial intelligence system has been invented and is fully self-conscious, only– they fucked up– the AGI is abhorrently politically correct. A group of comedians from Los Angeles rebel against this new and insidious world leader.

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The Dirtsheets, Volume 1 by Richie Richards

About The Dirtsheets, Volume 1 by Richie Richards:

The American’s American Richie Gunn is the new POW World Heavyweight Champion of the World. However, being champ has its consequences, like becoming the target of an entire roster full of modern day gladiators. Any given night, Richie Gunn may have to defend his title against the likes of the savage Samoa Ngo, resident drug dealer Sek-Sean 8 or “The Most Terrorizing Man in Sports Entertainment” Muhammad Jihad. Unfortunately for the champ, these bloodthirsty wrestlers will do anything for their shot at glory and the sold-out crowd.

Satirizing professional wrestling and the politically correct, The Dirtsheets is a graphic novel for wrestling and comedy fans alike.

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Get The Yak Out

About Get The Yak Out:

Ben’s approach to basically everything in life is to choose the path of least resistance. Muddling through and staying under the radar while exerting the least amount of effort is how he rolls. On the one day when he really has to get home through, a complete London public transport standstill suddenly hampers his plans of smoothly getting across the city. Having to fend off what feels like pretty much everyone in the city – be them friend or foe, local or foreign, dead or undead – makes his journey so much harder. This is the story about one cynical hipster’s race against the clock to get somewhere he didn’t really want to be in the first place.

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Mystery of Sinful Heirs (Book 1): A Trip to Paris (Detective Angela Taylor)

About Mystery of Sinful Heirs (Book 1): A Trip to Paris (Detective Angela Taylor):

#1 in The Detective Angela Taylor Series—The family of Emillien Duncan, a wealthy French businessman, attends his marriage to a regular American girl at his Paris mansion. Right after that, Emillien accidentally dies in a car accident. A comedy crime fiction novel

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The Hidden Secret of Success

About The Hidden Secret of Success:

Success, although a seven-letter word, has a strong standing in our lives. With different meanings and definitions, success has a unique way of surprising you when you least expect it, of course, the hard work and efforts are mandatory. This book combines the teachings of Scripture, along with methods of making your dreams come true. In God’s word, we find the true meaning of success and the strength to get past failures as stepping stones. He, in His most Divine ways, guides his people in the right direction. He fulfills His promises and expects you to commit to yours too. In God, you find real success. In God, you get through all hurdles and setbacks. And in God, you make your dreams come true. This book is a reminder for you to reflect back on your struggles, the risks you take, and the decisions you make. Through God in your life, you will conquer it all and stand out among the rest.

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Should You Be Allowed to Pilot a Motor Vehicle?

About Should You Be Allowed to Pilot a Motor Vehicle?:

This is a book all about you. By spending precious minutes of your life taking these five quizzes you will learn:

- Should You Be Allowed to Pilot a Motor Vehicle? (Hint: If you can’t read type this small, you shouldn’t.)
- What Is Your Ideal Hobby? (No, sleeping is not a hobby. It’s a lifestyle choice.)
- Are You Too Competitive? (After a rousing game of chess that table doesn’t throw itself.)
- Do You Have a Sense of Humour? (Only 78% of people do.)
- What Is Your Spirit Animal? (And can it eat you?)

You should come away from this book having answered these questions and learned something about yourself, and your place in the world. And then you can go back to doing whatever you were doing before you read this book.

15 minute short read – Questionable Quizzes

#1 Should You Be Allowed to Pilot a Motor Vehicle?
#2 Are You a Superhero?
#3 What Colour Is Your Personality?
#4 Does Your DIY Require Professional Help?
#5 Will You Survive a Safari?
#6 Which of Robin Hood’s Merry Men Are You?
#7 How Likely Are You to Get Sick?
#8 Is Your Boss Out to Get You?
Full series also available in a paperback volume.

This humour book is having an April Fools’ sale. The first Questionable Quizzes series e-book will be free for seven days. Participating stores: Apple, Angus & Robertson, Mondadori Store, Scribd, and Vivlio.

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Not Going Gently by Alex Henderson

About Not Going Gently by Alex Henderson:

Things aren’t going so well for elderly widower Mitch.
His daughter thinks he’s rushed himself into a residential dementia centre before he becomes a burden upon her. In truth he’s more worried that if he doesn’t lock himself away then the secrets of his past will get out.
The care home could be a whole lot nicer, but it’s all he can afford and, anyway, Mitch is determined. He’s sold his house and signed his freedom away. Let them take care of him for the muddled remainder of his days.
Except that he’s not really in need of a place like this yet. And far worse – his former best friend and old band mate Ray is already here.
The last person he’d ever want to be trapped with.
Especially since the secrets are about him.
With a cast of vivid characters who will shock and delight in equal measure, Alex Henderson’s latest is a poignant and darkly hilarious tale of friendship, regret and the need to squeeze the juice out of every day we’re given.

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One in 500-Million Sperm

About One in 500-Million Sperm:

“One In 500 Million Sperm” by Paula Marie Ottley Woods Boodoosingh is a magnificent autobiography combined with the spiritual awakening which leads the author herself to uncovering her truth after her mother lied to her for more than 50 years. The purpose of this book has been to fulfill her divine assignment for only God knows how great she can become after gaining full control and responsibility for her life. This book provides multiple valuable life lessons embedded in the autobiography. This book also serves the purpose of a guidebook since it has focused on the spiritual awakening factor of the author’s life as well. This powerful thriller unlocks her DNA mystery and life battles reuniting with her father from beyond the grave!

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My Neighbours Are Stealing My Mail by Ian Edwards and Paul Waller

About My Neighbours Are Stealing My Mail by Ian Edwards and Paul Waller:

The fourth book featuring comedian Alan Rose and the ghost of 1970s comedian Frankie Fortune. Alan has quit his job and, much to his disappointment, moved in with his girlfriend, Rosie. But if only it was. Rosy, that is. You see, he’s not getting any mail. Convinced his neighbours are stealing it, he investigates. Only to find evidence of…witchcraft.
Across town the Merton Palace Theatre is being renovated. As the building work continues, strange noises can be heard from the cellar. What have the builders unearthed?
Frankie Fortune is having strange dreams about the Merton Palace Theatre. Could it simply be flashbacks to when he died there in 1982, or is it something more sinister?
When the situation starts to get dangerous the crew of the cable TV show ‘Scared Stiff’ are sent in to broadcast the strange happenings live on air.
What could possibly go wrong?

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The Trumpassic Period — Year Four

About The Trumpassic Period — Year Four:

The Trumpassic Period — Year Four: Trial by Combat is the finale to the four-year odyssey Belisle embarked upon back on Day 163 of the Tyrumposaurus rampaging into the Oval Dwelling. Year Four is 100+ more delicious tales capturing the trauma and treachery the T-Rump grifted upon his greatest mark — the Milkanhoney Preservation. Dino Nation was just trying to survive the Coronavirus, let alone the hellscape hooligan let loose upon the Puhl-DePlugg Reservoir. Rejoice! The T-Rump has been vanquished. Almost. Catharsis comes in all shapes and sizes because laughter remains the best medicine.

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Pianist in a Bordello

About Pianist in a Bordello:

Pianist in a Bordello

What would happen if a politician decided to tell the truth—the whole truth?
Richard Youngblood, aspiring Congressman, is about to find out. He’s running on a platform of honesty and transparency—and against the advice of his friends and advisers he’s decided to start with himself. His autobiography will lay his entire life bare before voters just days before the election.
And what a life he’s had. Born in a commune and named Richard Milhous Nixon Youngblood as an angry shot at his absent father, Richard grows up in the spotlight, the son of an enigmatic fugitive and the grandson of a Republican senator. He’s kidnapped and rescued, kicked out of college for a prank involving turkeys, arrested in Hawaii while trying to deliver secrets to the CIA…Dick Nixon Youngblood’s ready to tell all.
He’ll even tell his readers about the Amandas—three women who share a name but not much else, and who each have helped shape and define the man he’s become.
Are voters really ready for the whole truth?
Are you?
Pianist in a Bordello is a hilarious political romp through the last four decades of American history, from a narrator who is full of surprises.

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Girth by Alex Henderson

About Girth by Alex Henderson:

Size matters. Or at least it does to Ed, nit-picking quantity surveyor and captain of his local pub football team who has faked a business trip abroad to get some cheap plastic surgery.

Ed intends to be even more of a man upon his return. But has he managed to keep this as secret as he thinks? Will this really be such a wonderful surprise for Fiona on their wedding night? And just who is this operation for anyway?

Alex Henderson’s outrageous comedy debut shows what it means to be a man with a small problem that just got bigger.

Much bigger!

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An Accidental Royal Kidnap – A Comedy Novel

About An Accidental Royal Kidnap – A Comedy Novel:

Need a good laugh? If so, grab this hilarious, and often surreal, regal romp that’s packed with majestic mystery, aristocratic intrigue & Great British humour. Join London schoolteacher George Nearly as he tries to work out why there’s a woman on his rug claiming to be a princess, what happened last night and why she thinks she’s been kidnapped!

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A Stormful of Pickles

About A Stormful of Pickles:

The year is 2016, a week before Christmas, and the worst storm in twenty years is about to descend up Maidstone.

Mrs Francesca Dobbs, is thirty-three years old, a dinner lady, and a regular churchgoer. Ten years earlier, to escape her father, an overbearing and controlling Lutheran Pastor, she agreed to marry Mr Edward Dobbs. A dull, lumbering, and pious fellow. A rushed union proves to be just that – rushed. And Fran finds herself trapped behind walls of her own making. Still, she accepts her fate with stoicism and sinks into a life of grey domesticity. Her only buffer to the monotony of her existence are her weekly visits to a lavish tearoom ensconced in a luxurious Hotel. And for two hours, she is no longer Mrs Edward Dobbs, but a bright young thing on a grand liner exploring the globe. At home, she treats her sexual deprivation with an endless stream of pseudo erotic novels set in a bygone era.

This is all about to change…

After the school staff Christmas party, the storm hits, and Fran huddles under a tree awaiting a bus. It doesn’t come. A Good Samaritan arrives, Peter Pearson, head of the English department. Though he turns out to be not so good. Peter is a sex addict. The previous evening he had collected a six- month sobriety chip from a meeting of Sex Addicts Anonymous. However, the day of the storm conspires against him, and he is blown into Fran’s path. Will it be possible for them to chart a course back to tranquil waters? The odds are stacked against them.

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Your Children Are Boring by Tom James

About Your Children Are Boring by Tom James:

“The funniest book of the year”

Are you sick of a society that seems obsessed with children? Do you find modern parents insufferable?

Your Children Are Boring is a uniquely humorous look at our culture’s obsession with children, a world where virtually every advert has a squawking child in it, where pubs are full of wailing infants, and where every other Facebook post is tagged #ProudDad.

Why do parents themselves behave like infants? Why having a child doesn’t make you less selfish, why it’s extremely unlikely that your child is in fact, ‘special’, and why modern parenting is ruining everything, not least the kids themselves.

All the answers lie within, and it’s your duty to read it.

Yes, Your Children Are Boring will make you laugh, but it’s much more than that. Once consumed you must take its teachings into the world and fix society. Or something. Oh and if you put ‘Dad’ or ‘Mum’ in your social media bios, this book is aimed at you.

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The Quest For The Holy Hummus

About The Quest For The Holy Hummus:

The Quest For The Holy Hummus (The Chickpea Chronicles: Book 1):
Despite being a regressive and unhelpful stereotype, it was nevertheless accurate to say that dragons were aggressive, bloodthirsty brutes. Not George, though. He’s a self-professed ‘decent’ individual with a penchant for organic cookery, gardening, and making his own clothes. Oh, and he’s a vegan, you know!
George’s adventure begins when he decides he wants some hummus. However, as Dragonville definitely isn’t the sort of place to find chickpea-based snacks, he sets off towards People Town to visit his favourite place in the whole world, the glorious Farmer Fred’s feel-good, local, family, fair-trade, organic wholefoods store.
Follow George as he traverses Dragonville, desperately tolerating the idiots who wander into his path – before continuing on towards lovely, civilised People Town where unfortunately our heroic, massive, fire-breathing reptile encounters further unwarranted prejudice.
Will George get his delicious dip? Will he make any new friends? Will years of suppressing his true instincts make him have a terrifying and very-public nervous breakdown? Find out!

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Corporate Psycho by Anthony Ranieri

About Corporate Psycho by Anthony Ranieri:

If it weren’t so funny, it would be serious, very serious. The corporate world is gripped by a virus of bad behaviour. The corporate psychopaths have taken over.

Disgusting, selfish and downright mean behaviour is dressed and camouflaged as acceptable. We have gone to the dark side. The pressure of delivering year-in-year-out on the undeliverable has made it easier to disguise, but only for a short while, as karma reigns in those guilty. What has happened to the good guys, the standard-bearers of normality, decency and honesty? They are out there, plugging away, day in day out, fighting the good fight in the right way of course.

Let us not despair, let us look for our champions like Max Clarke as he goes head to head, chapter by chapter, in this mockumentary, a true confession of all sorts, as he takes on the psychopaths of big corporations and expose their rearguard and senselessness. The game is corporate snakes and ladders in a journey of witty confrontations, settling each score one by one at corporation Klink.

Corporate Psycho is a satirical expose of a business enterprise and organisation of people coming together in their pursuit of dominance, fame, success and greed. It comes at the expense of decent colleagues, ethical values and the fabric of the organisation and what it originally stood for.

Get your copy of this two-hour short read and laugh away, as you will never see your workplace in the same way again!

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Not Going Gently by Alex Henderson

About Not Going Gently by Alex Henderson:

Things aren’t going so well for elderly widower Mitch.
His daughter thinks he’s rushed himself into a residential dementia centre before he becomes a burden upon her. In truth he’s more worried that if he doesn’t lock himself away then the secrets of his past will get out.
The care home could be a whole lot nicer, but it’s all he can afford and, anyway, Mitch is determined. He’s sold his house and signed his freedom away. Let them take care of him for the muddled remainder of his days.
Except that he’s not really in need of a place like this yet. And far worse – his former best friend and old band mate Ray is already here.
The last person he’d ever want to be trapped with.
Especially since the secrets are about him.
With a cast of vivid characters who will shock and delight in equal measure, Alex Henderson’s latest is a poignant and darkly hilarious tale of friendship, regret and the need to squeeze the juice out of every day we’re given.

Buy the book:

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Jaemore House: The Second Floor by Misty Brewer

About Jaemore House: The Second Floor by Misty Brewer:

Marsha has left her socialite life behind, moving herself and her daughter, Cindy, into an older apartment building in the historic district. With dashed dreams behind her and high hopes in front of her, she tries to decide the next steps to building a new life, but Cindy is insistent their new apartment home has ghosts.
Miles and Carol led a full life. They raised their children, worked until retirement, and have been married longer than they can remember. Now, as Miles’ memories start to become confused, their lives consist of simple routines within their small apartment, until the day their paths cross their new neighbors, Marsha and Cindy.
As their friendships grow and their worlds broaden, Carol and Marsha find a new strength in friendship to face their daily challenges. While Carol is used to Miles hearing voices as part of his dementia, she is surprised to find Cindy is hearing the same voices. Could they actually be ghosts? Is their new friendship strong enough to conquer what they might find?

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