Humor

Donald J Trump is kickin @$$ on the road to Rushmore – A Trump Supporters Bible

About Donald J Trump is kickin @$$ on the road to Rushmore – A Trump Supporters Bible:

The New #1 Political/Historical/Humor Book during its last 2 promotional periods, is gaining steam despite all the liberal efforts to censor and kill it off.

The book provides historic perspective…blended with satire…to demolish the deranged Trump haters and shows us “how we got here” and details our great president, Donald J. Trump’s journey to Mount Rushmore.

The book is not just another political book but drills down deeper into the heart of the American divide…the Culture Wars. This book covers things like Hollywood, the biased and corrupt Media, confused Academia, and comedically and comprehensively dismantles them.

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Learn Me Good

About Learn Me Good:

“Jack Woodson is living and working in Dallas, Texas. He has forty children, and all of them have different mothers…”

Jack Woodson was a thermal design engineer for four years until he was laid off from his job. Now, as a teacher, he faces new challenges. Conference calls have been replaced with parent conferences. Product testing has given way to standardized testing. Instead of business cards, Jack now passes out report cards. The only thing that hasn’t changed noticeably is the maturity level of the people surrounding him all day.

Learn Me Good is Jack’s hilarious retelling of his harrowing rookie year, written as a series of emails to Fred Bommerson, his former engineering coworker. Inspired by real-life experiences of rambunctious and precocious children, lesson plans gone awry, and incredibly outrageous quotes, this laugh a minute page turner will give you a new appreciation for educators. Jack holds a March Mathness tournament, he faces a child’s urgent declaration of “My bowels be runnin’!”, and he mistakenly asks one girl’s mother if she is her brother. With subject lines such as “Irritable Vowel Syndrome,” “In math class, no one can hear you scream,” and “I love the smell of Lysol in the morning,” Jack fills each email with sarcastic (yet loving) humor, insightful observations, and plenty of irreverent wit.

If you’ve ever taught, you will undoubtedly recognize aspects of your own students in Jack’s classroom. If you’ve never set foot in a classroom, you will still appreciate the funny quirks, behaviors, and quotes from the kids and adults alike.

“I teach, therefore I am…poor!”

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Seen and Sometimes Heard: Observations 2018-2020 by Martha Burnett

Seen and Sometimes Heard: Observations 2018-2020 by Martha Burnett

Seen and Sometimes Heard: Observations 2018-2020 is an homage to the lost art of randomly listening in on other people’s conversations. The book references cartoonist Stan Mack’s comic strip that ran from 1975 to 1995 in the free paper the Village Voice: “Real Life Funnies. All Conversations Guaranteed Overheard 100% Verbatim”. Problem is, random listening today isn’t what it used to be. I tried. I spent a fair bit of time riding buses and subways, wandering around, sitting in coffee shops, hanging out. But social spaces in the 21st Century simply cannot compare to those of the late 20th Century. Then the Pandemic of 2020 hit. Subsequently, what began as a series of illustrated observations of the world around me in 2018 and 2019 ends with personal comments on life lived during Covid-19.

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Should You Be Allowed to Pilot a Motor Vehicle? 5 Quizzes Including: What Is Your Ideal Hobby? Are You Too Competitive? Do You Have a Sense of Humour? What Is Your Spirit Animal?

About Should You Be Allowed to Pilot a Motor Vehicle? 5 Quizzes Including: What Is Your Ideal Hobby? Are You Too Competitive? Do You Have a Sense of Humour? What Is Your Spirit Animal?:

This is a book all about you. By spending precious minutes of your life taking these five quizzes you will learn:

 Should You Be Allowed to Pilot a Motor Vehicle? (Hint: If you can’t read type this small, you shouldn’t.)
 What Is Your Ideal Hobby? (No, sleeping is not a hobby. It’s a lifestyle choice.)
 Are You Too Competitive? (After a rousing game of chess that table doesn’t throw itself.)
 Do You Have a Sense of Humour? (Only 78% of people do.)
 What Is Your Spirit Animal? (And can it eat you?)

You should come away having answered these questions and learned something about yourself, and your place in the world. And then you can go back to doing whatever you were doing before you read this book.

15 minute short read

#1 Should You Be Allowed to Pilot a Motor Vehicle?
#2 Are You a Superhero?
#3 What Colour is Your Personality?
#4 Does Your DIY Require Professional Help?
#5 Will You Survive a Safari?
#6 Which of Robin Hood’s Merry Men Are You?

“I wish I had published them. But we don’t actually publish quizzes here.”
– editor, The Worldview from My Chair

“A book I would read, if I had 15 minutes.”
– Edgar Hemingway

“A tour de force . . . is an accomplishment achieved with impressive skill.”
– The Dictionary

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Celebrity Roast: Ten Tales of Stardom, Fandom and Random Acts

About Celebrity Roast: Ten Tales of Stardom, Fandom and Random Acts:

‘A dark humorous short story collection bursting with surprises.’
Enter a world where Stars, champions, celebrities, and winners dazzle you to death.
An aging celebrity is desperate to hit the headlines again.
Astride the bonnet of a magenta-coloured Rolls-Royce, with its Flying Lady mascot tastefully sticking out from her crotch… “That’s our Annabel, true to form! Smiling to camera with the most expensive ten-inches she could find stuck between her legs!”
Once the darling of the tabloids and celeb weeklies, Annabel misses the headlines… but she’ll soon fix that with a spectacular jaw-dropping snapshot of self-delusion! And that’s just for openers.
After a burned out teenage swim champion tells it like it is, all manner of nutty Rock Stars, Back up singers, teen idols and Classic Soul Stars strut their stuff for you.
Scamming Vegas is always a high stakes game, but this off-the-wall High Roller gives it his own bizarre shot. And then, after the time-warp mayhem of “First Date with The Killer”, a new actor in town gets his first taste of Hollywood with his old Aussie Star mate’s latest fandango.

This offbeat short story collection tempts you with an entertaining and at times gobsmacking glimpse inside the strange lives of the bizarre crew who people fame and infamy. But be warned, addiction to celebrity can take a nasty turn and notoriety has the habit of becoming deadly.
FREE

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The Diarrhea Diaries

About The Diarrhea Diaries:

Whether you follow Twitter or not, you would have to be living on another planet not to be aware of President Trump’s use of Twitter. It has attracted worldwide attention. Almost daily he uses Twitter to comment about politicians, celebrities as well as official government announcements that often described as bitter, enraged, heated, chafed, irate, sullen and choleric. From his official declaration of candidacy in June 2015 through the first two-and-a-half years of his presidency, he has tweeted over 17,000 times. The 34 chapters in this book contain 480 of those Tweets and are presented word-for-word as Mr. Trump wrote them. Misspellings and punctuation errors are Mr. Trumps. Tweets longer than 280 characters are those continued in a second or third Tweet and combined here. Mr. Trump targeted many of the same individuals often retweeting an existing Tweet by changing a pejorative word (s) to describe an individual along with other key words to make his point. These Tweets have been organized to confirm this pattern. Some will find them amusing, others may be dismayed that they were written by the President of the United States. To be sure, we live in interesting political times.

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Girth by Alex Henderson

About Girth by Alex Henderson:

Size matters. Or at least it does to Ed, nit-picking quantity surveyor and captain of his local pub football team who has faked a business trip abroad to get some cheap plastic surgery.

Ed intends to be even more of a man upon his return. But has he managed to keep this as secret as he thinks? Will this really be such a wonderful surprise for Fiona on their wedding night? And just who is this operation for anyway?

Alex Henderson’s outrageous comedy debut shows what it means to be a man with a small problem that just got bigger.

Much bigger!

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Circle It, The Office Facts, Word Search, Puzzle Book by Jonathan Akcay

About Circle It, The Office Facts, Word Search, Puzzle Book by Jonathan Akcay:

“Circle It” word search books read like a book and are full of interesting facts, the bold words within the text can be found in the word search puzzle on the opposite page. Typical word searches are just dull lists of words, “Circle It” word search books read like a book and are full of interesting facts. Enjoy learning interesting unique facts about The Office!

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If I Were a Dictator

About If I Were a Dictator:

Tired of politics as usual? Feeling pressured to take sides? Exhausted trying to figure out who you need to unfriend today? Author Lisa Orban comes to the rescue using humor, sarcasm, and a little bit of math to engage readers with a collaborative approach to solving our problems as a society united, rather than one resigned to remain in our current fractured state. Nor does the author require absolute agreement on everything presented during the course of the book, instead readers are encouraged to find the compromise in between the disagreements (or throw the book around the room if it makes you feel better).

Challenging the situation normal, all f**cked up narrative, the author encourages readers to find their common ground. We all want quality education for our children, good roads to drive on, safe water and food, accessible medicine and healthcare, clean cities, upward mobility, and a secure life for ourselves and our family. If I were Dictator takes away the Us vs. Them in these agreed upon needs of our country and presents a blueprint to begin doing just that.

Join the Revolution!

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Not Going Gently by Alex Henderson

About Not Going Gently by Alex Henderson:

Things aren’t going so well for elderly widower Mitch.
His daughter thinks he’s rushed himself into a residential dementia centre before he becomes a burden upon her. In truth he’s more worried that if he doesn’t lock himself away then the secrets of his past will get out.
The care home could be a whole lot nicer, but it’s all he can afford and, anyway, Mitch is determined. He’s sold his house and signed his freedom away. Let them take care of him for the muddled remainder of his days.
Except that he’s not really in need of a place like this yet. And far worse – his former best friend and old band mate Ray is already here.
The last person he’d ever want to be trapped with.
Especially since the secrets are about him.
With a cast of vivid characters who will shock and delight in equal measure, Alex Henderson’s latest is a poignant and darkly hilarious tale of friendship, regret and the need to squeeze the juice out of every day we’re given.

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The Hack

About The Hack:

From the first-person perspective, Max McMillan, a renowned and worshiped author, takes the reader on a journey through his playboy, luxurious, and millions-of-Instagram-follower life. Annoyed by his stardom, and seemingly out for self-destruction, Max’s story is one of constant disaster. However, when he discovers that his best friend, Jack, a poor and unpublished writer, is losing his wife to cancer, he decides to risk it all to help them in this hilarious and satirical romantic comedy.

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Tiem Mechine

About Tiem Mechine:

Kenny has just bought a time machine at a yard sale.

After conducting some initial tests to verify that he actually purchased the ability to travel through time for just two dollars, he sets out to fix his past and prevent himself from becoming a single, recently unemployed loser. But upon arriving on his eighteenth birthday, he meets another time-traveling version of himself. And another…and then another.

Some of his clones seem to have less than admirable ambitions, but there are so many of him running around that Kenny can’t keep track of who is who and, more importantly, which of his selves he can trust. This wacky and increasingly confusing adventure involves an alien marketing consultant, our hero’s foulmouthed but loyal roommate Travis, and a whole lot of Kennies all struggling to use the past to build themselves a better future.

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To Kill a Mocking Nerd

About To Kill a Mocking Nerd:

TO KILL A MOCKING NERD

Screenplay, Comedy, 100 pages

LOGLINE: A nerdophobic writer infiltrates the world of pocket protectors, bad haircuts, and ill-fitting polyester clothing to rescue the woman he loves, find inner peace, and defeat an alphanerd with delusions of grandeur.

“Basically” says Harris, “it’s your typical James-Bond-stumbles-into-All-The-President’s-Men type of story–but with a slow-speed car chase and lots of polyester clothing.”

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Stop Buying All The Toilet Paper

About Stop Buying All The Toilet Paper:

In a time when social distancing is the new norm and fear is all over the news, we all need some comic relief to take our minds away from the stress of the current situation.

Stop Buying All The Toilet Paper takes a comedic and ridiculous look at how a complete idiot would make their way through social distancing. Filled with Top Ten lists on making the most of the situation, this hilarious book tries to see the light when we need it the most.

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Snapped! C-c-comments from a C-c-conservative by Phil Berto

About Snapped! C-c-comments from a C-c-conservative by Phil Berto:

If you want to laugh at Democrats, Republicans, Catholics, Baptists and everyone else, then this is the book for you! Phil Berto, known for his acerbic wit and willingness to be the most politically incorrect (and insensitive) author there is as long as he can keep his tongue firmly planted in at least one cheek (don’t ask which one, the answer might traumatize you), has done it again with this raucously hilarious look at everything that makes Americans American!

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Not Going Gently by Alex Henderson

About Not Going Gently by Alex Henderson:

Things aren’t going so well for elderly widower Mitch.
His daughter thinks he’s rushed himself into a residential dementia centre before he becomes a burden upon her. In truth he’s more worried that if he doesn’t lock himself away then the secrets of his past will get out.
The care home could be a whole lot nicer, but it’s all he can afford and, anyway, Mitch is determined. He’s sold his house and signed his freedom away. Let them take care of him for the muddled remainder of his days.
Except that he’s not really in need of a place like this yet. And far worse – his former best friend and old band mate Ray is already here.
The last person he’d ever want to be trapped with.
Especially since the secrets are about him.
With a cast of vivid characters who will shock and delight in equal measure, Alex Henderson’s latest is a poignant and darkly hilarious tale of friendship, regret and the need to squeeze the juice out of every day we’re given.

Buy the book:

Buy the Book On Amazon.

Temptation

About Temptation:

Free Kindle from 7th May until 11th May 2020.
A social tragi-comedy in which the reader can storm through the vivid and bitter-sweet world of Cory Farris and his companions: lost souls, ambitious fame-seekers and a menacing priest. All are drawn to the place where they will witness a satirical but disturbing battle with their devils – “A literary success” Style Magazine. “Incisive and dark” Northern Life Magazine

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COVIDIOTS – Stories of idiotic acts and bizarre behaviour

About COVIDIOTS – Stories of idiotic acts and bizarre behaviour:

“COVIDIOTS – Stories of idiotic acts and bizarre behaviour” brings together a collection of true stories about the strangest and stupidest reactions to the COVID-19 crisis.
This short book, wittily recounts events from all over the world, including tales of curfew-breakers and inventions that did not exactly work out how they were planned.
Easy to read, it is written in a satirical style full of British humour and will appeal to those who try to look on the bright side of things in times of crisis.

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The 2020 Election Survival Guide

About The 2020 Election Survival Guide:

Hot Button Issues?
Rhetoric?
Advice on who to vote for?

Save it for those other books.

The 2020 Election Survival Guide is about you, the American Voter, trapezing your way through the election cycle, O’er the mountains, through the valleys, without colliding into a relationship meltdown or being hit by a social media bus.

Soar above network blitzes and partisan divides with this guide as your ticket to rediscover, laugh, or learn something new about our beautiful nation, and maybe even yourself.

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If I Were a Dictator

About If I Were a Dictator:

Tired of politics as usual? Feeling pressured to take sides? Exhausted trying to figure out who you need to unfriend today? Author Lisa Orban comes to the rescue using humor, sarcasm, and a little bit of math to engage readers with a collaborative approach to solving our problems as a society united, rather than one resigned to remain in our current fractured state. Challenging the situation normal, all f**cked up narrative, the author encourages readers to find their common ground. We all want quality education for our children, good roads to drive on, safe water and food, accessible medicine and healthcare, clean cities, upward mobility, and a secure life for ourselves and our family. If I were Dictator takes away the Us vs. Them in these agreed upon needs of our country and presents a blueprint to begin doing just that. Join the Revolution!

Buy the book:

Buy the Book On Amazon.