Dating in London might be easy for some women, but not for me. The guys I’ve dated have ranged from farters to addicts, from liars to slobs, from cheapskates to conspiracy theorists. This ebook contains ten hilarious and horrific little stories about the nightmarish dates I’ve had as a woman in her late 20s searching for love in London. The next time you go on a bad date, rest assured that someone out there had a worse one—and that someone was me!
The events take place in the United States. Arrogant smuggler Alan and a shy homeless guy called George are the main characters of the book.
At some point, Lady Luck decided that she had paid too much attention to ungrateful Alan, and completely neglected George for no reason. “It looks like now is the high time to correct this injustice,” she thought once. Being very vigorous and determined, Lady Luck put the idea into action immediately. Which meant seismic changes in the lives of both main characters. And one of them didn’t like those changes at all…
So what happened to Alan and George? Well, the answer is in the book. As a bonus you will also find out what happened to Hitler in hell and what the Devil and the English Queen have in common.
The story is almost based on real events. Some of them already took place in real life. Some are about to happen. Who knows, maybe to you…
Buy the book, Learn more about the writer and follow the author on social media:
Buy the Book On Amazon.
A lackluster young man realizes that going back to college is his best chance to revitalize his disappointing life.
In the 1990’s Zach has worked heavy labor-intensive jobs. At twenty-three he has just realized his life is moving nowhere fast. He searches for a job that will allow him to go back to college. As a result, he lands as a night auditor in the hospitality industry.
Three tales so twisted, they’ll make you question your own sanity.
“The best thing I’ve read since sliced bread!” -Name Withheld
Goldilocks and the Mob.
Hansel and Gretel and the Cannibal Cookies.
Adam and Eve and their madcap romp through the Garden of Eden.
These aren’t your childhood fairy tales.
Pick up your copy today and see why readers are calling it outlandish. Hysterical. On the brink of lunacy.
A big ol’ word-buffet of the familiar and the surreal. You’ll be asking for seconds.
Do you love a good movie? Are you a fan of fun facts about successful actors and films? If yes, you will definitely enjoy this movie trivia book greatly. It will help you to rediscover tons of thrilling, chin-dropping, and simply amazing facts about some of the best movies, actresses, and actors in the history.
This book is a great, yet simple and entertaining read. It’s totally family-friendly and it may be the best gift for a film-lover of any age. The book is filled with film industry related interesting facts, short life stories of the actors, bizarre situations that occurred in their careers, and so much more!
If you’ve got a pub quiz or movie trivia night to go to, I suggest that you get this book! This is your chance to learn and reclaim in your memory some of the greatest facts about your favorite movies, characters, and actors. Also, you may do it in no time, while having so much fun!
The Forbidden Fruit.
Come on. Bite it.
You know you want to.
The snake says it’s okay. Eve says it’s okay.
You’re curious, aren’t you, Adam?
You bit it, didn’t you?
It’s all right; we all make mistakes. Paradise wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, anyway. From now on, you’ll have to make your own way. Just you and Eve and your trusty talking goat sidekick, Phil Collins.
The book of Genesis. How bad could it be? Take a bite and find out for yourself.
His minivan is his chariot and his mower is his weapon.
Enter the world of the Suburban Luchador, suburbia’s favorite underdog, father, husband… hero.
Meet the man who’s making minivans, mowing and mortgages sexy again. He’s the every day, luchador mask-wearing, suburban family man who’s anything but common. In Suburban Luchador: Tales from the Burb Side, author Philip Rivera turns his ordinary family, marriage and teaching scenarios into offbeat and humorous slice of life stories.
Whether he’s commenting on the Dollar Store’s newfound item of the month: rib eye steak, describing a bath time mishap involving rogue poop and a rhinoceros, or reliving an innocent video game challenge with his wife which gave her PTSD-like symptoms, he’s as skilled at painting vivid “everyman’s life” scenes as he is at being an overzealous neighborhood vigilante.
For every suburban, urban, village or hamlet underdog out there wondering, “Does anyone else think like this?” – this is a whimsical and humorous look at common experiences we can all relate to. Enter the ring of the Suburban Luchador where we all have the same awkward laugh.
Not since Office Space has there been such a comical and satirical view of corporate America. At the middle of this story where Office Space meets Die Hard is Nate Brennan. Brennan slaves away in PowerPoint purgatory, dreaming of escaping the monotony of his useless day job and his personal letdowns. His wife recently left him for a younger man, taking Brennan’s dignity, but leaving him the minivan. Adding insult to injury, his overbearing father unexpectedly announces that he is moving into the neighborhood. The pressures mount when a co-worker who attempted to commit an act of workplace violence gets promoted and becomes his supervisor. Brennan can barely stomach the idea of attending his upcoming 20-year high school reunion and seeing his more successful and happier classmates. When Vinnie Kaminski, Brennan’s childhood friend and former Special Forces soldier, moves in and begins making homemade explosives in the kitchen, Brennan’s life quickly spins out of control. When the explosives end up in the wrong hands, Brennan must save his company from demolition and evade a local domestic terrorist group that is out to kill both Kaminski and him. Piling on the cynicism that exists in every corner of Corporate America sprinkled with real adventure, Nate Brennan is a guy that we both root for and laugh at. Back on Your Heads is that unique combination that sparks belly laughter and is also a page-turning thriller.
Reincarnation. It ain’t for dummies.
”Reading this made me glad I never fell in love”- Lonely Man on Balcony
Ronnie and Helen. Two teenagers in love with marriage on the horizon. Till an accident cuts his life short.
The Archangels make sure his soul gets into a new body.
But they screw up.
Seriously. Ronnie can’t catch a break.
Those Eyes is a surrealist romantic comedy originally penned by a group of Benedictine monks in a trailer at a maple syrup protest rally. The manuscript went through several revisions, and even one book burning demonstration, and is now nothing like the original text. It has been translated into one language: This one. It’s packed with extra comedy, a whole lot of love, a splash of the ghastly, and more than a touch of the bizarre.
Give it a read and discover just how weird love can be.
And President Mel Gibson?
America is in trouble, dudes.
The country is in ruins after the president walls it up, sealing it like a giant prison. The rich get richer and the poor starve to death in the streets. Enter the Invaders, a secret society led by a charismatic and flawlessly handsome dude named Dave. Their mission: Destroy the forces in D.C. and take back the U.S.A.!
Starlet Richter is your typical transgender American woman. After years of watching the place fall apart, she’s gonna do something about it. Eric Tisdsale is Starlet’s long-lost love. He’s making a pretty mundane living as a pool shark, until one phone call changes everything.
Will they save each other? Themselves? The world? How about when they discover the president is not actually human, and there may be more of his kind hiding among us?
“The worst thing you’ll read all year!” raves the general population.
“Fake News!” cries D.T.
DAVE! is a science fiction comedy that features fast-paced action, pie-throwing clowns, nudists, and lots and lots of aliens. Equal parts Hitchhiker’s Guide and Coen Brothers, download now and laugh your way through the apocalypse!
Walter Augustus is dead. His current state of existence has become a monotony of sweet tea and lonely strolls and after decades stuck in the Interim — a posthumous waiting room for those still remembered on Earth — he is ready to move on. Only when he is forgotten by every living person will he be able to pass over and join his family in the next stage of the afterlife. At last the end is tantalizingly close, but bad luck and a few rash decisions may see him trapped in the Interim for all eternity.
Letty Ferguson is not dead. Letty Ferguson is a middle-aged shoe saleswoman who leads a pleasant and wholly unextraordinary life, barring the secret fortune she seems unable to tell her husband about. However, when she takes possession of an unassuming poetry anthology, life takes on a rather more extraordinary dimension.
Praise for The Afterlife of Walter Augustus
“Heart-warming, clever, and populated with a host of well-drawn and engaging characters, The Afterlife of Walter Augustus will surely prove to be one of the stand-out releases of 2018.” – Joel Hames, Author of Dead North
“A fresh perspective on the classic existential question – what happens next?”
“Tears and laughter until the very last page.”
“A cross between The Five People You Meet in Heaven and American Gods. A great read.”
Amazed and curious, women have been trying for centuries to comprehend the truth about men’s intellectual ability. Knowing that their feelings are not that complicated, the level of men’s understanding of those feelings remains unknown.
Despite the fact that men are not quite honest about their understanding of women, Dr. Atkinson, in this milestone, uncovers the shocking truth that no man admits.
Essential for women to dive deep into the complexity of men’s minds and discover how they view, interpret, and react to women’s feelings.
Kenista Noah-Walker is a displaced First Nations story-teller and spoken word artist lost in the vortex that was the Tucson of yesteryear and contemplating what direction to take for the turn of the milennium. She has attracted the interest of a slam poet producer but he wants more from her than her funny, light-hearted stories if he’s going to feature her on his new program. Nista has decided she needs to choose a new direction, but her Lakota cousin Albie keeps showing up, bringing joy and mass destruction equally to all whose paths he crosses. Together with the poets, performers, and scenesters of Tucson’s 20th century underground scene centered on the legendary Goth Club Asylum, Albie zig-zags his way across Nista’s indecision. The poets are out to sabotage an upstart event coordinator, some shady things are going down at the club next door, illusions are crumbling like stucco downtown, friends and lovers are being lost and found, and Nista’s people have a Columbus Day rally to organize, one with a dangerous unannounced guest. The times are about to change for downtown Tucson, forever. Nista knows that the funny thing about life is, no one ever gets out alive. Based on true events and real-life personas, living and dead, that once haunted the downtown strip on Congress Street, where John Dillinger was finally apprehended, ‘Walker” stretches a web that runs from timeless introspection through spoken word performance and story all the way to hyperbole and back again. This is a glimpse at a world that has vanished into the mists of local legend and the people who lived there on their last karmic walk-about at the cusp of the 21st century in America’s Sonoran Desert.
American Duty contains short plays about American Society. Heros like Cowboys and Guards appear but also Antiheros like the quarreling husband and bungalow heros. The scenes are short and zynic about American Society.
In this social-political satire, a young man who escapes his hayseed hometown in Bible-Belt Missouri is mistakenly hunted down by the national security agencies as a terrorist, while the President plagued by an America in chaos and collapse perpetrates an end-of-the-world hoax, in a desperate attempt to get himself re-elected.
Blinders Keepers is humor and commentary in the tradition of Jonathan Swift, Kurt Vonnegut and Joseph Heller, but revved up and spit-shined to take on the historical new levels of absurdity and dysfunction of the 21st Century.
Murland Kadabra has always dreamed of becoming a great wizard. However, at age 19, the young apprentice has yet to successfully cast a single spell. He has been reduced to grounds keeper of Abra Tower, and has become the laughing stock of the wizarding school. But when the Most High Wizard Kazimir chooses him to be one of the five Champions of the Dragon, Murland’s life changes forever.
He soon finds himself traveling through the wilds with four unlikely companions, including an alcoholic knight, a gay elf prince, a dwarf with humanism, and an obese ogre. Prophecy dictates that these champions must march west to the shadowy peak of Bad Mountain, where they are destined to do battle with the dreaded dragon of legend, Drak’Noir.
But what few people know, is that the prophecy is not altogether true. For it is not five champions who Kazimir chooses, but five fools. They are not meant to defeat the dragon, but to feed her.
To change their fate, the Champions of the Dragon must not only overcome their enemies, but also themselves.
Trapped. In the nightmarish world of Edgar Allan Poe.
“A real mustn’t read.” -Every Critic Ever
Ever wanted to be in a story?
Our hero has.
And now here he is.
And it sucks.
How did he get here?
What did he do to deserve this?
Why are these tales so much worse than the originals?
Why is everyone he meets so annoying? And what’s the deal with their wonky eyeballs?
E is for Eyeball is what happens when you put works of public domain into the hands of an incompetent lunatic.
Al Horowitz, ageing cartoonist and self-styled ninja, is catapulted from peaceful dotage to national notoriety when a dissident’s assassin disguises himself as a benign Horowitz vegetable character. Reviled in the press and hunted as a murderous agent of North Korean dictator Boh Gi Mon, Horowitz is soon on the run with his nephew ‘The Kid’, a reclusive arch-nerd geneticist, battling a plot to cretinise the populace through customised junk food additives and media programming. As the zombified masses rise in effigy-burning rage against Horowitz and his supposed fifth-columnist cadre, young lab colleague ‘Technicia’ joins the fight to save intelligent life in the UK while also juggling two male egos and her own secret of the heart.
Evening. An alleyway. Light spills from the open door of a Japanese restaurant onto a pile of food scraps. Someone deeply unhappy and lonely finds something in this pile that makes him instantly happy. And then… Well then, as always, follows a brief romance with a tragicomic ending.