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Too Good For The Hood

About Too Good For The Hood:

“Too Good for the hood,” a new Black American comedy receiving rave reviews from critics: Lenny Kravitz, the big hearted, diminutive Staten Islander faces the cruel, unrelenting recession of 2008. This new grad accountant/math major ends up hopelessly unemployed, then learns he has a serious medical condition. Unbelievably, boldly, he overcomes his misfortune and becomes the hero of the hood. It’s a story of heart, and pure determination. “Captivating, “Addicting.” “. . . laughing all the way.”
NOW FREE FOR A LIMITED TIME

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Bwanana Chaos: A Novel

About Bwanana Chaos: A Novel:

A marijuana farm.
A runaway girl.
A “tribe” of hippies.
Not all journeys of self-discovery start the same way…

Kitty, a young successful LA resident, has it all—good education, fashion career, rich friends, handsome boyfriend. But there comes the moment in her life when she realizes—chasing money and other people’s dreams is not what life is about. Lies, gossips and backstabbing creep up on her like snakes in the jungle until one day she has a meltdown.

And she runs…
All the way to her long-time friends who are in charge of a pot farm… There Kitty finds herself in a community of free-spirited people who gathered together for seasonal work. She doesn’t fit in and she could care less. Full of bitterness and despise for the individuals that snobby and stuck-up Kitty would never in any other circumstances even talk to she reluctantly joins them for “trim” work and unwillingly becomes a witness to their lives full of experiments and craziness.
And that’s when things take an interesting turn…

“Bwanana Chaos” is a strange, funny and exhilarating tale of chance, change and letting go. It’s a journey into a place where weed growing is just another regular job, crazies are in the majority, deviants and breaking rules are the norm, nonsense makes total sense, strange becomes familiar and chaos is beautiful. “Bwanana Chaos” is a celebration of freedom, new beginnings and an entertaining journey into the West Coast cannabis culture.

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Dupes-A-Navy

About Dupes-A-Navy:

Being Navy SEALs was everything to new partners Shelby Ryder, a Kansas farm girl, and Earl Bernstein, a hypochondriac from big city Chicago. They completed their first mission successfully, but okay, in the process they accidentally blew up an F-16, wiped out a regiment of Cuban soldiers and caused an international incident. Despite the little hiccups, they were expecting a hero’s welcome, so they were stunned when the unscrupulous administration in Washington duped, dumped and, worst of all, de-SEALed them.

The Navy always thought for them. Now they have to think for themselves. And that’s a scary thought.

They’re downhearted but not defeated. Despondent but not done. No, embers of the SEAL spirit still burn within them, and along with their de-SEALed commanding officer, eighty-five-year-old Bertha “Bull” Gompers, they set out to clear their names, be re-SEALed and prove to the world that they’re not zeros. They’re heroes.

In their minds anyway.

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The Incredible Life of Joey Coletta: A Screenplay by Michael Martin De Sapio

About The Incredible Life of Joey Coletta: A Screenplay by Michael Martin De Sapio:

Joey Coletta is an ordinary kid in 1950s California whose life goes from drab to dramatic when he wins the lead role in a family sitcom on television. But Joey’s fictional family life seems so much better than his real one, where he is the only child of separated parents. Can Joey reunite his parents and recreate a sense of community? Can a nine-year-old survive in the fast-paced world of Hollywood?

“The Incredible Life of Joey Coletta” is a funny, heartwarming tribute to the beloved domestic sitcoms of the 1950s and ’60s. A story about family, faith and creativity, it explores growing up in the “Leave It to Beaver” era and what it was like to be a child star during the golden age of television.

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Confection Connection

About Confection Connection:

Valentine’s Day looms large for Mina Kitchen–a 40-something single sans boyfriend, and a catering disorder to beat the band. Should she set her sights on Chef? Flirt with James? Romance fills the air (or is that fried chicken?) but dates remain elusive as thefts rattle the shop owners of Lancaster “Pee-Ay.”

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Rich, Famous, And Ass-Less by Dr. Fu LoveShit

About Rich, Famous, And Ass-Less by Dr. Fu LoveShit:

There is something wrong with this relationship. Is it the fact that he abuses her? Is it the fact that she likes it? Maybe it’s the fact that she wants to get her glass cracked. Wait. . . she wants what? If you’re confused then you must read this story to make sense of it all. And remember to wipe the frown off your face because it looks like a hairy dick.

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The Last Ghoul-Chaser

About The Last Ghoul-Chaser:

Follow the journal of retired Ghoul-Chaser Rick Stoned as he aides his friend William Featherman on one last adventure.

After Rick attends the funeral of his friend and former Ghoul-Chaser, Pauly Vuckman, he meets with William, another former Ghoul-Chaser, who now runs his family’s mortuary business.

After Dr. Egotta Strangler was killed in a laboratory accident, Rick and William are all that are left of the ghoul fighting crew. Rick confesses that his time is coming to end as a cancerous infection in his lungs has spread rapidly. Soon, William will be the last Ghoul-Chasers.

But when William’s teenage niece, Patricia Toenail, finds an old foe in her closet by the name of Zoto: The Rectal Specter, the two must face a past that has returned to haunt them.

William and Rick discover tunnels under Patricia’s house completely encased in green, stinky Ghoul Goop that contain enough ectoplasmic material to bring an army of ghosts and spooks to life. When they try to “plug the hole” they discover the source is pouring out of the old Ghoul Max-Prison Container in the abandoned headquarters.

And they have no way to fix it.

Digging through Egotta’s notes for an answer, they will have to ask old friends, Lou Loser and Diana Michaels for help. When Diana’s son, Oliver, a huge Ghoul-Chaser fan, offers to assist and send out a worldwide call to arms, the pair are reluctant, but desperate and recruit the teen fanboy and his homemade Ghoul-Blaster.

When all their efforts to fix the Prison have failed, they discover that Zoto may be working for her old master, Dozer the BubbleFartShooter. If Zoto’s old mate, Sphincter Sphinx, possess Lou again then the two ghouls could open a portal and unleash Dozer on Earth.

As they race for answers, the potato-head monster Vegan the Vegetarian bursts through the Prison with thousands of ghouls at his command. He plans to merge with Dozer and destroy the planet once and for all.

William, Rick and Oliver race to Center Park to close the portal where a giant Vegan and his army are there to greet them. All appears lost until Oliver’s call is heard and thousands of Ghoul-Chasers from around the world join in the fight to destroy the villainous ghouls and send them back to their own dimensions.

And their efforts will require great sacrifice.

When the dust settles, there will be only one Ghoul-Chaser.

Maybe.

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Peas, Carrots and an Aston Martin

About Peas, Carrots and an Aston Martin:

“A coming of age story for the mid-life crisis generation.”

When George Sibley dies, his only son, Eric, has no idea that his inheritance will come with conditions. Now, if Eric is to ever get his hands on his father’s treasured Aston Martin, he must somehow juggle his hectic career and family life in the city, with regular visits to the small riverside town of Burlam. Life for Eric quickly becomes a chaotic kaleidoscope of grumpy pensioners, wellington boots and vintage auto-mobiles, fraught with heavy machinery mishaps, missed deadlines and drug raids, the result of which leave his marriage, job and sanity hanging in the balance.
.

Peas, Carrots and an Aston Martin is a light-hearted and humorous tale of a man who reluctantly goes digging amongst the weeds in order to discover his roots.

Praise for Peas, Carrots and an Aston Martin

“The story flows really well and the entire concept had me simultaneously laughing, cringing and crying. It’s a brilliant mash up of people and places.”

“I loved some of the characters within this book, they were so deliciously lovely, quirky and believable, even when at their most absurd.”

“It’s a book that oozes charm.”

“Wonderful book to get lost in. Adored the characters and loved the way the book was written – very easy to read and I loved, laughed & cried in equal measures – great!”

“So many funny moments, the prose is witty and bouncy, and I can’t wait to read more from the Author”

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Teaching Frankenstein: A Cautionary Tale

About Teaching Frankenstein: A Cautionary Tale:

Teaching Frankenstein is NOT your traditional inspirational story about the struggling educator. It’s far from it. Absurd, dark, and profane, it’s told by an unnamed antihero who cuts away education’s façade and exposes the truth behind being a modern professional.

It is a story about the friendship forged through adversity. Told through a series of bizarre vignettes inspired by the author’s experiences, it shows the journey of a young teacher on a misguided adventure to resurrect dead dreams. The task is simple, teach Frankenstein at a struggling, urban school to reinvigorate his dying career. What he doesn’t realize is that to teach a book about monsters, he’ll first have to deal with his own.

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Christmas Bizarre

About Christmas Bizarre:

What do Santa’s Sidekick, a dead lawyer and a geriatric vampire have in common? Meet Mina Kitchen. Her luck is getting weird, and her cat’s gnawing elf gear is weirder. Okay, and getting kidnapped a couple of times in one week is a little strange, too.

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Kitchen Addiction!

About Kitchen Addiction!:

Meet Mina Kitchen, a 40-something single who likes to cook – and cook and cook. Her zest for whipping up trays of canapés is dwarfed only by her weird luck and mountain-lion size cat, Vinnie. Set in Lancaster, PA, you’ll find a cast of funny characters, plot twists, and recipes.

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101 Uses Of a Used condom by Paul Gwilliam

About 101 Uses Of a Used condom by Paul Gwilliam:

101 Uses Of a Used condom
The world has gone recycle crazy. You can now do your bit for the environment by recycling your little rubber friend. There are so many uses for the Used condom and you don’t even need to clean it first.
You’ll find 101 Uses for a Used condom in this book that will keep you entertained until your John Thomas is ready to play again. Get your hands on this funny book. Adult humour.

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Mondays With Morty – Offbeat Lessons for $uccess

About Mondays With Morty – Offbeat Lessons for $uccess:

“Mondays With Morty” is a humorous spoof of some of the most iconic books about success, from “Think and Grow Rich” to “The Secret.” Every week 85-year-old Morty Goldberg teaches a new success lesson to young Walter Dill who is deferential and naïve. Morty is a retired businessman who drinks heavily, gambles a lot, and has an over-sized libido. He also swears like a sailor. His lessons are often absurdly flawed and comically confusing. Although a friendship develops between the elderly mentor and his young pupil, Walter pays a price again and again for Morty’s twisted advice. If you’re at all familiar with the success-book genre, this funny satirical book is a must-read. Adult language.

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Textual Chemistry

About Textual Chemistry:

“I realized something today. The Black-Eyed Peas have stopped making music and it makes me believe that people are capable of great change and that the world can become a better place.”

“Because no one ever killed the dark lord with friendship, Quinn. Bravery, yes. Smarts, yes. Cunning, yes. Hugs, no.”

“Can I chop off my enemy’s arm and cauterize the wound at the same time with a regular sword? No, I can’t. So light sabers are better.”

“You don’t get that with clouds. No one ever said, “I’ve really gotta get away from these clouds, they are literally giving me cancer.”

“I told you, there is no Quinnifer.”
“Only Zuul?”

***A boy who never plays by the rules. A girl who always does. Opposites don’t just attract, they collide.***

Alex
I am distinctly charming. Don’t worry, you’re not the first to fall for my extreme wit and handsomeness.

Quinn
Those were definitely not the words that came to my mind.

Alex
I’ve also been called striking. Once there was even a mention of god-like.

Quinn
So, you talk to yourself frequently, do you?

Careful Quinn believes in perfection: her perfectly nice boyfriend, her perfect GPA, and her perfect plan for her life. Unfortunately, the decidedly imperfect Alex has been assigned to her group project and is messing up absolutely everything. What begins as strictly necessary communication for the class slowly becomes more frequent and serious as she gets to know him. From his total lack of respect for school to the undeniable chemistry they share, Alex is beginning to make Quinn question everything she thought was true, especially about love. Is his constant, playful flirting with her real or just another game for him?

With its sharp sarcasm and wit, Textual Chemistry is a romantic comedy that will appeal to fans of John Green. Readers who love intellectual banter and savvy references won’t be able to put down this romance between the smart slacker guy and the overly perfectionist girl, similar to Rory and Jess from Gilmore Girls. This hilarious rom-com will keep you laughing and turning the page to see if this dynamic couple will or won’t get together.

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Carpe Sodium by Penn S. Mightier

About Carpe Sodium by Penn S. Mightier:

Have you ever felt that something is so common or obvious that there must be a word for it? Well, there is now. This is a compilation of new word amalgamations, neologisms, portmanteaus and modified phrases which simply pokes fun at the madness of the evolution of PC culture and social justice. It is all in the service of humor and any sense of racism, sexism or other bigotry is meant to be ironic or to reflect the hypocrisy of the word or phrase being parodied.

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Dating Nightmares in London

About Dating Nightmares in London:

Dating in London might be easy for some women, but not for me. The guys I’ve dated have ranged from farters to addicts, from liars to slobs, from cheapskates to conspiracy theorists. This ebook contains ten hilarious and horrific little stories about the nightmarish dates I’ve had as a woman in her late 20s searching for love in London. The next time you go on a bad date, rest assured that someone out there had a worse one—and that someone was me!

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Tramps, Thieves and IT

About Tramps, Thieves and IT:

The events take place in the United States. Arrogant smuggler Alan and a shy homeless guy called George are the main characters of the book.

At some point, Lady Luck decided that she had paid too much attention to ungrateful Alan, and completely neglected George for no reason. “It looks like now is the high time to correct this injustice,” she thought once. Being very vigorous and determined, Lady Luck put the idea into action immediately. Which meant seismic changes in the lives of both main characters. And one of them didn’t like those changes at all…

So what happened to Alan and George? Well, the answer is in the book. As a bonus you will also find out what happened to Hitler in hell and what the Devil and the English Queen have in common.

The story is almost based on real events. Some of them already took place in real life. Some are about to happen. Who knows, maybe to you…

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So It Begins

About So It Begins:

A lackluster young man realizes that going back to college is his best chance to revitalize his disappointing life.

In the 1990’s Zach has worked heavy labor-intensive jobs. At twenty-three he has just realized his life is moving nowhere fast. He searches for a job that will allow him to go back to college. As a result, he lands as a night auditor in the hospitality industry.

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ABC: An Alphabet Book for Grown-Ups! By Marc Richard

About ABC: An Alphabet Book for Grown-Ups! By Marc Richard:

Three tales so twisted, they’ll make you question your own sanity.

“The best thing I’ve read since sliced bread!” -Name Withheld

Goldilocks and the Mob.

Hansel and Gretel and the Cannibal Cookies.

Adam and Eve and their madcap romp through the Garden of Eden.

These aren’t your childhood fairy tales.

Pick up your copy today and see why readers are calling it outlandish. Hysterical. On the brink of lunacy.

A big ol’ word-buffet of the familiar and the surreal. You’ll be asking for seconds.

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