“Mondays With Morty” is a humorous spoof of some of the most iconic books about success, from “Think and Grow Rich” to “The Secret.” Every week 85-year-old Morty Goldberg teaches a new success lesson to young Walter Dill who is deferential and naïve. Morty is a retired businessman who drinks heavily, gambles a lot, and has an over-sized libido. He also swears like a sailor. His lessons are often absurdly flawed and comically confusing. Although a friendship develops between the elderly mentor and his young pupil, Walter pays a price again and again for Morty’s twisted advice. If you’re at all familiar with the success-book genre, this funny satirical book is a must-read. Adult language.
“I realized something today. The Black-Eyed Peas have stopped making music and it makes me believe that people are capable of great change and that the world can become a better place.”
“Because no one ever killed the dark lord with friendship, Quinn. Bravery, yes. Smarts, yes. Cunning, yes. Hugs, no.”
“Can I chop off my enemy’s arm and cauterize the wound at the same time with a regular sword? No, I can’t. So light sabers are better.”
“You don’t get that with clouds. No one ever said, “I’ve really gotta get away from these clouds, they are literally giving me cancer.”
“I told you, there is no Quinnifer.”
***A boy who never plays by the rules. A girl who always does. Opposites don’t just attract, they collide.***
I am distinctly charming. Don’t worry, you’re not the first to fall for my extreme wit and handsomeness.
Those were definitely not the words that came to my mind.
I’ve also been called striking. Once there was even a mention of god-like.
So, you talk to yourself frequently, do you?
Careful Quinn believes in perfection: her perfectly nice boyfriend, her perfect GPA, and her perfect plan for her life. Unfortunately, the decidedly imperfect Alex has been assigned to her group project and is messing up absolutely everything. What begins as strictly necessary communication for the class slowly becomes more frequent and serious as she gets to know him. From his total lack of respect for school to the undeniable chemistry they share, Alex is beginning to make Quinn question everything she thought was true, especially about love. Is his constant, playful flirting with her real or just another game for him?
With its sharp sarcasm and wit, Textual Chemistry is a romantic comedy that will appeal to fans of John Green. Readers who love intellectual banter and savvy references won’t be able to put down this romance between the smart slacker guy and the overly perfectionist girl, similar to Rory and Jess from Gilmore Girls. This hilarious rom-com will keep you laughing and turning the page to see if this dynamic couple will or won’t get together.
A satirical look at the proclamations, thoughts, and policies taking place in the Trump administration through cartoons and caricatures.
Have you ever felt that something is so common or obvious that there must be a word for it? Well, there is now. This is a compilation of new word amalgamations, neologisms, portmanteaus and modified phrases which simply pokes fun at the madness of the evolution of PC culture and social justice. It is all in the service of humor and any sense of racism, sexism or other bigotry is meant to be ironic or to reflect the hypocrisy of the word or phrase being parodied.
Dating in London might be easy for some women, but not for me. The guys I’ve dated have ranged from farters to addicts, from liars to slobs, from cheapskates to conspiracy theorists. This ebook contains ten hilarious and horrific little stories about the nightmarish dates I’ve had as a woman in her late 20s searching for love in London. The next time you go on a bad date, rest assured that someone out there had a worse one—and that someone was me!
The events take place in the United States. Arrogant smuggler Alan and a shy homeless guy called George are the main characters of the book.
At some point, Lady Luck decided that she had paid too much attention to ungrateful Alan, and completely neglected George for no reason. “It looks like now is the high time to correct this injustice,” she thought once. Being very vigorous and determined, Lady Luck put the idea into action immediately. Which meant seismic changes in the lives of both main characters. And one of them didn’t like those changes at all…
So what happened to Alan and George? Well, the answer is in the book. As a bonus you will also find out what happened to Hitler in hell and what the Devil and the English Queen have in common.
The story is almost based on real events. Some of them already took place in real life. Some are about to happen. Who knows, maybe to you…
Buy the book, Learn more about the writer and follow the author on social media:
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A lackluster young man realizes that going back to college is his best chance to revitalize his disappointing life.
In the 1990’s Zach has worked heavy labor-intensive jobs. At twenty-three he has just realized his life is moving nowhere fast. He searches for a job that will allow him to go back to college. As a result, he lands as a night auditor in the hospitality industry.
Three tales so twisted, they’ll make you question your own sanity.
“The best thing I’ve read since sliced bread!” -Name Withheld
Goldilocks and the Mob.
Hansel and Gretel and the Cannibal Cookies.
Adam and Eve and their madcap romp through the Garden of Eden.
These aren’t your childhood fairy tales.
Pick up your copy today and see why readers are calling it outlandish. Hysterical. On the brink of lunacy.
A big ol’ word-buffet of the familiar and the surreal. You’ll be asking for seconds.
Do you love a good movie? Are you a fan of fun facts about successful actors and films? If yes, you will definitely enjoy this movie trivia book greatly. It will help you to rediscover tons of thrilling, chin-dropping, and simply amazing facts about some of the best movies, actresses, and actors in the history.
This book is a great, yet simple and entertaining read. It’s totally family-friendly and it may be the best gift for a film-lover of any age. The book is filled with film industry related interesting facts, short life stories of the actors, bizarre situations that occurred in their careers, and so much more!
If you’ve got a pub quiz or movie trivia night to go to, I suggest that you get this book! This is your chance to learn and reclaim in your memory some of the greatest facts about your favorite movies, characters, and actors. Also, you may do it in no time, while having so much fun!
The Forbidden Fruit.
Come on. Bite it.
You know you want to.
The snake says it’s okay. Eve says it’s okay.
You’re curious, aren’t you, Adam?
You bit it, didn’t you?
It’s all right; we all make mistakes. Paradise wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, anyway. From now on, you’ll have to make your own way. Just you and Eve and your trusty talking goat sidekick, Phil Collins.
The book of Genesis. How bad could it be? Take a bite and find out for yourself.
His minivan is his chariot and his mower is his weapon.
Enter the world of the Suburban Luchador, suburbia’s favorite underdog, father, husband… hero.
Meet the man who’s making minivans, mowing and mortgages sexy again. He’s the every day, luchador mask-wearing, suburban family man who’s anything but common. In Suburban Luchador: Tales from the Burb Side, author Philip Rivera turns his ordinary family, marriage and teaching scenarios into offbeat and humorous slice of life stories.
Whether he’s commenting on the Dollar Store’s newfound item of the month: rib eye steak, describing a bath time mishap involving rogue poop and a rhinoceros, or reliving an innocent video game challenge with his wife which gave her PTSD-like symptoms, he’s as skilled at painting vivid “everyman’s life” scenes as he is at being an overzealous neighborhood vigilante.
For every suburban, urban, village or hamlet underdog out there wondering, “Does anyone else think like this?” – this is a whimsical and humorous look at common experiences we can all relate to. Enter the ring of the Suburban Luchador where we all have the same awkward laugh.
Not since Office Space has there been such a comical and satirical view of corporate America. At the middle of this story where Office Space meets Die Hard is Nate Brennan. Brennan slaves away in PowerPoint purgatory, dreaming of escaping the monotony of his useless day job and his personal letdowns. His wife recently left him for a younger man, taking Brennan’s dignity, but leaving him the minivan. Adding insult to injury, his overbearing father unexpectedly announces that he is moving into the neighborhood. The pressures mount when a co-worker who attempted to commit an act of workplace violence gets promoted and becomes his supervisor. Brennan can barely stomach the idea of attending his upcoming 20-year high school reunion and seeing his more successful and happier classmates. When Vinnie Kaminski, Brennan’s childhood friend and former Special Forces soldier, moves in and begins making homemade explosives in the kitchen, Brennan’s life quickly spins out of control. When the explosives end up in the wrong hands, Brennan must save his company from demolition and evade a local domestic terrorist group that is out to kill both Kaminski and him. Piling on the cynicism that exists in every corner of Corporate America sprinkled with real adventure, Nate Brennan is a guy that we both root for and laugh at. Back on Your Heads is that unique combination that sparks belly laughter and is also a page-turning thriller.
Reincarnation. It ain’t for dummies.
”Reading this made me glad I never fell in love”- Lonely Man on Balcony
Ronnie and Helen. Two teenagers in love with marriage on the horizon. Till an accident cuts his life short.
The Archangels make sure his soul gets into a new body.
But they screw up.
Seriously. Ronnie can’t catch a break.
Those Eyes is a surrealist romantic comedy originally penned by a group of Benedictine monks in a trailer at a maple syrup protest rally. The manuscript went through several revisions, and even one book burning demonstration, and is now nothing like the original text. It has been translated into one language: This one. It’s packed with extra comedy, a whole lot of love, a splash of the ghastly, and more than a touch of the bizarre.
Give it a read and discover just how weird love can be.
And President Mel Gibson?
America is in trouble, dudes.
The country is in ruins after the president walls it up, sealing it like a giant prison. The rich get richer and the poor starve to death in the streets. Enter the Invaders, a secret society led by a charismatic and flawlessly handsome dude named Dave. Their mission: Destroy the forces in D.C. and take back the U.S.A.!
Starlet Richter is your typical transgender American woman. After years of watching the place fall apart, she’s gonna do something about it. Eric Tisdsale is Starlet’s long-lost love. He’s making a pretty mundane living as a pool shark, until one phone call changes everything.
Will they save each other? Themselves? The world? How about when they discover the president is not actually human, and there may be more of his kind hiding among us?
“The worst thing you’ll read all year!” raves the general population.
“Fake News!” cries D.T.
DAVE! is a science fiction comedy that features fast-paced action, pie-throwing clowns, nudists, and lots and lots of aliens. Equal parts Hitchhiker’s Guide and Coen Brothers, download now and laugh your way through the apocalypse!
Walter Augustus is dead. His current state of existence has become a monotony of sweet tea and lonely strolls and after decades stuck in the Interim — a posthumous waiting room for those still remembered on Earth — he is ready to move on. Only when he is forgotten by every living person will he be able to pass over and join his family in the next stage of the afterlife. At last the end is tantalizingly close, but bad luck and a few rash decisions may see him trapped in the Interim for all eternity.
Letty Ferguson is not dead. Letty Ferguson is a middle-aged shoe saleswoman who leads a pleasant and wholly unextraordinary life, barring the secret fortune she seems unable to tell her husband about. However, when she takes possession of an unassuming poetry anthology, life takes on a rather more extraordinary dimension.
Praise for The Afterlife of Walter Augustus
“Heart-warming, clever, and populated with a host of well-drawn and engaging characters, The Afterlife of Walter Augustus will surely prove to be one of the stand-out releases of 2018.” – Joel Hames, Author of Dead North
“A fresh perspective on the classic existential question – what happens next?”
“Tears and laughter until the very last page.”
“A cross between The Five People You Meet in Heaven and American Gods. A great read.”
Amazed and curious, women have been trying for centuries to comprehend the truth about men’s intellectual ability. Knowing that their feelings are not that complicated, the level of men’s understanding of those feelings remains unknown.
Despite the fact that men are not quite honest about their understanding of women, Dr. Atkinson, in this milestone, uncovers the shocking truth that no man admits.
Essential for women to dive deep into the complexity of men’s minds and discover how they view, interpret, and react to women’s feelings.
Kenista Noah-Walker is a displaced First Nations story-teller and spoken word artist lost in the vortex that was the Tucson of yesteryear and contemplating what direction to take for the turn of the milennium. She has attracted the interest of a slam poet producer but he wants more from her than her funny, light-hearted stories if he’s going to feature her on his new program. Nista has decided she needs to choose a new direction, but her Lakota cousin Albie keeps showing up, bringing joy and mass destruction equally to all whose paths he crosses. Together with the poets, performers, and scenesters of Tucson’s 20th century underground scene centered on the legendary Goth Club Asylum, Albie zig-zags his way across Nista’s indecision. The poets are out to sabotage an upstart event coordinator, some shady things are going down at the club next door, illusions are crumbling like stucco downtown, friends and lovers are being lost and found, and Nista’s people have a Columbus Day rally to organize, one with a dangerous unannounced guest. The times are about to change for downtown Tucson, forever. Nista knows that the funny thing about life is, no one ever gets out alive. Based on true events and real-life personas, living and dead, that once haunted the downtown strip on Congress Street, where John Dillinger was finally apprehended, ‘Walker” stretches a web that runs from timeless introspection through spoken word performance and story all the way to hyperbole and back again. This is a glimpse at a world that has vanished into the mists of local legend and the people who lived there on their last karmic walk-about at the cusp of the 21st century in America’s Sonoran Desert.
American Duty contains short plays about American Society. Heros like Cowboys and Guards appear but also Antiheros like the quarreling husband and bungalow heros. The scenes are short and zynic about American Society.
In this social-political satire, a young man who escapes his hayseed hometown in Bible-Belt Missouri is mistakenly hunted down by the national security agencies as a terrorist, while the President plagued by an America in chaos and collapse perpetrates an end-of-the-world hoax, in a desperate attempt to get himself re-elected.
Blinders Keepers is humor and commentary in the tradition of Jonathan Swift, Kurt Vonnegut and Joseph Heller, but revved up and spit-shined to take on the historical new levels of absurdity and dysfunction of the 21st Century.