Humor

A is for Adam: An Alphabet Book for Grown-Ups!

About A is for Adam: An Alphabet Book for Grown-Ups!:

The Forbidden Fruit.
Come on. Bite it. You know you want to.
The snake says it’s okay.
Eve says it’s okay.
You’re curious, aren’t you, Adam?
Bite it.
You bit it, didn’t you?
It’s all right; we all make mistakes. Paradise wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, anyway. From now on, you’ll have to make your own way. Just you and Eve and your trusty talking goat sidekick, Phil Collins.

The book of Genesis. How bad could it be? Take a bite and find out for yourself.

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Asshole: A Memoir

About Asshole: A Memoir:

Asshole is the vivid, heartbreaking, and harrowing true story that explores the depths of what life is like as an asshole. Some critics are saying this is the most important book since the Bible. Asshole is the kind of book that will change your life. If you don’t believe me, my third cousin from Jersey didn’t read it, and he’s still on heroin. My nan and pap didn’t read it either. Now they are both dead.
Buck Brennan spent his whole life living a lie, the same way gay people do before they realize they are gay. He tried to fit in and do things he thought normal people do like have manners, chew with their mouth closed, and not pee all over the toilet seat, but it never felt natural to Buck. Deep down inside he had this burning desire to talk during movies, wipe boogies on the couch, put empty milk cartons back in the fridge, and squeeze the toothpaste from the top. Even as small a child, Buck would find himself staring off into the distance in parking lots, longing for the day when he could someday drive his own car so he could take up two spaces. Buck spent forty years struggling with being an asshole. This is his story

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Welcome to Ludicrous by Virginia Henderson

About Welcome to Ludicrous by Virginia Henderson:

*FREE to download May 16th-20th*

All Aboard!

Allow me to be your personal guide to Ludicrous. A small town where things are not always what they seem and are often… ludicrous.

Take the butcher for instance. He’s a vegetarian. And there’s the exterminator, he’s positively petrified when it comes to bugs. Then there’s the mayor…

I invite you to follow along with Priscilla Pinwick, an uptight, rude and prideful woman, as she travels to this town. What could possibly go wrong?

Includes a free preview of The Beast, a gripping and intense thriller!

What other readers are saying:

“a great story and I would totally recommend it.”

“Couldn’t put it down.”

“It had a climax I loved, a double dose of girl power, character development that made me unexpectedly bond with Priscilla, and a sweet ending.”

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So Many Thrones: A Parody of A Game of Thrones

About So Many Thrones: A Parody of A Game of Thrones:

From the author of The Candidate in the Rye and a graduate of The Harvard Lampoon, this parody novel is a send-up of Game of Thrones, publishing just in time for the series finale. Download the ebook for free until May 12!

Before the HBO series, and before your friend who has never read a single fantasy series invited you over to watch, remember when you first read those famous words—“Is it just me or is it getting colder outside?”

When the King’s Right-Hand-Man is murdered, it falls to Sean Bean of Winterville to take his place in Camelot, where the blood pours like wine and climate change is a distant dream. Follow Cat Lady as she relies on the scheming Goldfinger to help solve a murder, her son Raisin-Bran as physical injury destines him for magical powers, and test-tube baby Juan Doe as he joins the Border Patrol, dedicated to denying climate change and preventing those awful Canadians from ever invading from beyond the wall. And now for the first time follow new point-of-view characters including George R. R. Martin himself as he struggles to preserve the artistic integrity of A Song of Ice and Fire against the demands of HBO executives hungry for syndication. Will he finish his epic series before it is too late? Will winter ever, eventually, at some point come?

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Spoons

About Spoons:

The tiny town of Spoons, South Dakota is, as the Americans would describe, ‘a one horse town’; the comments of the horse are not recorded. In his story, ‘Spoons’ a young Thai boy goes to live in a small American town with his father and American Stepmother. He and his Chinese friend not only have to cope with American culture but solve what seems to be the perfect murder.

Welcome to the town of Spoons.

Y’all come back now.

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OP SINGHANIA : NOT ONE IN A MILLION

About OP SINGHANIA : NOT ONE IN A MILLION:

An Autobiography by LoryPattanaik
The mesmerizing story of one man’s descent into personal toiling and then the quest for achieving opulence with a masterstroke in every episode of his life.
One dark road in the middle of the night of a sleepy village “Lailunga” suddenly was spotted with light with a spark in the eyes of an 8-year young boy to „DREAM BIG‟.
O.P Singhania dives and takes a close watch to his early life, effort,hardship, fortitude, luck and chance that eventually led him to become one of the Best C.A in Chattisgarh. The moving memoir of this O.P Singhania book is a recollection of his young days which is a good suggestive to the Malgudi Days set up in search of his identity. This journey is about himself as he painlessly takes the reader with him to witness that identity. The recounting of this emotional yet sentimental odyssey begins from Lailunga to Raigarh, Kolkata and finally ending at Raipur. He remembers his parents, teachers, family, relatives and most influential characters in this book, offering a tribute to all of them for being a part of his life. Adding colour to the plots are some of the pictures of that time. This segment covers the all early learnings and travels.
Compassionate, dramatic and deeply moving “NOT ONE IN A MILLION- An Autobiography ‟ takes readers to the roots of human behaviour – to the innocence, experience,kindness, and cruelty, love and hatred, struggle and victory with an extra flavour of humour and pathos added to life.

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Teaching Frankenstein: A Cautionary Tale

About Teaching Frankenstein: A Cautionary Tale:

Every student has a story…

But you won’t find it here.

Dark, profane, and absurd, this comedy follows the journey of a young teacher on a misguided adventure to resurrect dead dreams. After being let go from his first school, the nameless narrator finds himself at a tough urban high school ready to quit. He decides that the only way to rekindle his passion for teaching is through his favorite novel. It’s a decision that leads him on an unsuspecting journey where he discovers that teaching a book about monsters means dealing with his own first.

The story exposes the importance of friendship and the truth behind what it means to be a teacher. Based on real events, the novel parallels Mary Shelley’s 1818 classic, Frankenstein, and shows that 200 years later, humanity still struggles to identify the real monsters.

It’s a must-read for aspiring educators, teachers, and those struggling with adulting.

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JOKES : Collection of Best Jokes and Funny Short Stories

About JOKES : Collection of Best Jokes and Funny Short Stories:

In life the best ornament is humility; the richest wealth is wisdom; the strongest weapon is patience; the best security is faith; the best mental tonic is laughter. Live well, laugh often, love much and share God’s blessings. We all know that laughter is the best medicine, and this is true, Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. Nothing works faster or more dependably to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh. Humor lightens your burdens, inspires hopes, connects you to others, and keeps you grounded, focused, and alert.

Read our collection of jokes and funny short stories. These jokes and funny stories are collected from different sources in the Internet. Download our book now, and laugh out those stress away.

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Detective Schizoaffective

About Detective Schizoaffective:

Is Jameson Theodore crazy, or has his will been simply torn down over time, leaving him hopeless and confused? Who can he trust if he can’t even trust himself? The only way to know for sure is to examine the craziness within.

At 35 years old, Jameson is battling a major depressive episode after experiencing a bout of mania he never saw coming. Worst of all, he’s forgotten what to hope for. Driven by a few chance encounters and an investment opportunity of a lifetime, Jameson takes a leap of faith and finds himself soaring toward a new beginning. The sudden control he has over everything is intoxicating, but it comes with a harsh consequence. Faced with the threat of throwing away his whole life, and his family, Jameson has no choice but to go all-in.

As Detective Schizoaffective comes alive, a story within a story unwinds and the journey toward universal purpose intensifies with each twist and turn. The investigation leads to a shocking truth, and it’s one that Jameson will have to live with forever.

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Bird Brains by Jamie Skeie

About Bird Brains by Jamie Skeie:

Bird Brains is a colorful book, that showcases animal intelligence. An African Grey Congo parrot, Orion, was observed in her home for a year. All of her words were documented, and written down, word for word. The complete list of Orion’s vocabulary is available to be viewed in two other books. These books are called, If Dogs Could Talk and If Dogs Could Talk FOR KIDS. Bird Brains takes a deeper look into her thoughts, and showcases the meaning behind her words. You can study this parrot’s cognitive intelligence, by seeing her comprehend grown up things. She responds with perfect timing, when she talks. Orion was 17 years old, when her words were documented. She learns new sentences, everyday. Imagine what Orion will say over the next 40 years… Orion has her own children’s book series about her, too. The series is called, Orion the Star. The book series is about a superhero parrot, who flies from Orion’s Belt, to save all creatures in distress. Orion also has trusty sidekicks, to help her save the creatures. These superstars are named Canis Major, Canis Minor, and the Purple Purse Merman. Bird Brains will make you smile, laugh, and feel good. It’s a must-read, for everyone!

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Novak: A Standalone Romantic Comedy Novel

About Novak: A Standalone Romantic Comedy Novel:

Belly laugh your way to shredded abs with Novak, a standalone romantic comedy novel about a Slovenian shepherd searching for love in California, inspired by modern classics like Borat and There’s Something about Mary.

After a string of disastrous dates, Mary concludes that Solvang, California, is full of freaks and nutjobs. So she heeds her friend’s advice and signs up to a dating site. One dreamy man of mystery catches her eye: a hotshot special agent named Tristan Drimov.

Meanwhile, Novak, a smalltime shepherd in Slovenia, learns a brutal lesson when his wife cheats on him with the most notorious herder in town. His life in shambles, Novak has no one to turn to but his estranged grandfather, Oleg. The unorthodox old life coach quickly helps his grandson’s life go from bad to dreadful.

Looking for love and a sliver of hope, Novak signs up to a dating site. He meets Mary and they instantly hit it off. Finally, their luck is changing … for the worse. Unbeknownst to them, privacy has been compromised and they’re about to be pitted against the scheming adult film producer Mary was once married to, as well as a desperate actor who looks just like Tristan Drimov. The juvenile son of Mary and her ex is also drawn into the tangle.

In a world that’s churning out false truths and absurd role models, Novak is the hilarious, heartwarming story about finding love and keeping it. Like love, Novak knows no bounds.

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Naan of Your Business

About Naan of Your Business:

In this hilarious take on the modern-day detective story, Frank “The Comeback Kid” Davenport has made a cozy living finishing arguments for people too embarrassed to speak up for themselves. But when a beautiful young woman hires him to tell off her dad, he quickly discovers that this job will be unlike any he’s had before. If he’s going to finish it, the unlikely sleuth will have to hunt her father down himself. The only problem? Ruthless killers are also looking for him, and now Frank is in their sights. His only hope is to find out why the dad skipped town before Frank’s life, career, and floundering love life are ruined.
Fans of Douglas Adams and Christopher Moore will love this uproarious thrill ride.

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The Famous Union

About The Famous Union:

Adult humorous fiction
Famous Union College is a slow moving train wreck, a place where what is what is not.

Two hapless heroes.

An exhibitionist secretary.

Bumbling administrators.

A paranoid football coach.

Conniving coeds.

A sex obsessed football player.

Who knows what will happen next…

“The characters are all interesting and well developed – and many would be great study cases for a psych major.” – HAMPTON REVIEWS

“It’s light and humorous with a bit of a wink and a lot of wry puckish humor.” – Pop Bop, Top 500 Amazon Reviewer

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Shrink Unwrapped By Joel L. Schwartz

About Shrink Unwrapped By Joel L. Schwartz:

To treat patients using psychoanalysis, psychiatrists must first undergo their own analysis. And Dr. Jacob Fink plans to coast through his own stint on the shrink’s couch as quickly as possible. After all, there’s nothing wrong with him! But soon, his forty‑five minute sessions unearth long‑buried struggles that are both profound and profane.

Can a three‑year‑old who was unable to sit still on his carpet square in nursery school and constantly joked his way through his schooling ever be successful in life?

Can listening to a weather forecast be dangerous to your health?

Can a boy get a venereal disease just by thinking about girls?

How can you get fresh semen stains out of white linen pants and beat a traffic ticket?

Jacob is on his way to a breakthrough when something unthinkable happens and he now has to dig deep to unwrap the last of his inner struggles and finally grow into the therapist he knows he can be.

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MASTUPORT

About MASTUPORT:

MASTUPORT is a dark comedy about the only portable device capable of giving pleasure to men, without anyone noticing. Setting an end to the traditional way of conceptual masturbation in private by shaping and shifting the experience into the open world, the book explores the social repercussions if such a device is presented onto society. The device gets introduced by the Founder who portrays it as the right remedy for spicing up a dull experience repeated over and over again in a cyclic boredom. The device manages to reach the market but gets strong opposition from a Preacher who is convinced that it is a sign of deviancy obscuring people’s minds by leading them towards the gates of shame and immorality. Being certain that god himself has given him a sign to stop this madness, he takes action by mobilising massive groups and advocating in a divine plan that the purity of life consists in getting rid of this device. What follows is a constant battle of ideologies, strange riots, reactions and counter reactions, culminating into a surprising unexpected ending. Read the complete first chapter at www.mastuport.com

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Time Is Irreverent

About Time Is Irreverent:

An irreverent, liberal, twisty, time travel comedy!

What if you could change history to eliminate slavery, World War II, the Spanish Inquisition, global warming, and an egomaniacal nuclear-bomb-dropping US president? What if that change also made 5 billion people poof from existence? Would you do it? Time Is Irreverent explores those questions, as benevolent aliens send Marty Mann to AD 31 to correct an error in history.

Spanning from the Cretaceous period to 2056, Time is Irreverent is a hilarious, thought-provoking satire, with unpredictable twists, colorful aliens, huge dinosaurs, a smokin’ hot lesbian from the future, and a cameo from Jesus Christ himself!

“Ironic, original, hysterically funny, deftly crafted, and an impressively entertaining read from first page to last”—Midwest Book Review

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BAKED OFF! By Catherine Long

About BAKED OFF! By Catherine Long:

This hilarious British comedy is jam-packed with cake, romance and revenge. A baking show spoof that will have you in stitches.

Cake and scandal – is there a better combo?

Producer Mary Summers doesn’t think so. She knows what the British public crave, and it isn’t limp biscuits and soggy bottoms. She plans on serving them up a nice big dollop of drama this year on UKTV’s hit program, The Spectacular Baking Show. Her line up of oddballs and crooks that make up this season’s contestants are sure to send sparks flying.

Meet the beautiful and glamorous Annabel White, designer to the stars. Her cakes are rich, and her men are richer. She has it all – that is until fellow contestant mogul Jack Walters sets his sights on her and will stop at nothing to have his way, even if it means destroying her life in the process.

Lydia barker can’t stand toffs. She’s a woman with a cause and plans on making the Baking Show her soapbox, much to the dismay of disillusioned director David Fearn, who’s ready to pack it all in and run off into the French countryside.

Throw in a socially awkward teenager, a downtrodden housewife, a gerontophobic retirement home nurse and bad egg or two, and you have a recipe for disaster.
Indulge in plenty of delicious shenanigans as the contestants attempt to bake their way to a perfectly golden-brown victory in the tent, employing dirty tricks, phycological mind games and a whole lot of buttercream.
Baked off! is a light-hearted, terribly British comedy that will keep you chuckling throughout.

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Rich Guys Get More B*** Jobs

About Rich Guys Get More B*** Jobs:

** FREE thru 4/4/19. Get your free copy today!**

What guy doesn’t like a good Blow Job??? If there is one, I haven’t met him yet.

And truthfully, for both men and women, who’s getting as much sex as they’d like in their life? What’s keeping you from it? Violet has the answer!

Violet Pennington’s hilarious new relationship, sex and almost career counseling book, “Rich Guys Get More Blow Jobs”, delivers a unique perspective on why the average man (and woman) can’t get all the satisfaction they would like.

Full of entertaining real-life stories, it’s a quick but must read book for both men and the women who love them.

Violet identifies the Top 5 BLOW JOB THIEVES in a way that will keep you laughing and nodding in agreement at the same time.

Buy your copy today!

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Time Is Irreverent 2: Jesus Christ, Not Again!

About Time Is Irreverent 2: Jesus Christ, Not Again!:

Marty Mann and Nellie Dixon are back for another irreverent, liberal, twisty, time-travel comedy! This time they have Jesus Christ, the actual guy, on their side.

This thought-provoking satire answers the question, “What would happen if Jesus time traveled to 2020 America?” Would the Soldiers of the White Jesus and other far-right groups accept a profanity-loving, gun-hating, brown-skinned Jesus who preached in favor of liberal values? Find out in this hilarious sequel to the Amazon #1 Best-Seller.

Jesus Christ, Not Again! is the second book in the Time Is Irreverent series. Each novel is a stand-alone adventure, and a humorous prologue quickly gets readers up-to-date.

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The Catcher Goes Awry – and Other Odds and Sods

About The Catcher Goes Awry – and Other Odds and Sods:

Join two-time Florida Authors and Publishers Association award winner and ex-Brit, Charles Berkoff, as he finds humor (and humour) in the most unexpected places: PreMedicated Murder (postview), London’s Bloody Blitz (preview), Florida Fauna, Old Man Tennis, September, Science, Technology, and Medicine. Forty-four short stories, both fact and fancy, published and not, to bring a smile, a chuckle, and, perhaps, an appetite for more.

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