Humor

Girth by Alex Henderson

About Girth by Alex Henderson:

Size matters. Or at least it does to Ed, nit-picking quantity surveyor and captain of his local pub football team who has faked a business trip abroad to get some cheap plastic surgery.
Ed intends to be even more of a man upon his return. But has he managed to keep this as secret as he thinks? Will this really be such a wonderful surprise for Fiona on their wedding night? And just who is this operation for anyway?
Alex Henderson’s outrageous comedy debut shows what it means to be a man with a small problem that just got bigger.
Much bigger!

Buy the book:

Buy the Book On Amazon.

Single and Catless by Kaylee Gryba

About Single and Catless by Kaylee Gryba:

33 Ways to Fail at Dating and One Huge Lesson

After a decade of failed first dates, an endless supply of players, a few cougar moments, and a humiliating rejection from the massage therapist working on her butt, Canadian model and Pass the Hat Comedian, Kaylee Gryba, reveals the surprising reasons she’s still single at 30.

And no, that doesn’t include a restraining order. Good guess though!

With spite, sarcasm, and truly twisted stories, Single and Catless is the ultimate what-not-to-do confessional of a woman who has made EVERY mistake you can think of.

If you’ve been single forever or you’re single again, Kaylee’s got your back, with a few helpful warnings about The Lazy Player, The Bottom-Feeder, The Obvious Jerk, and all the other ONEs Disguised as THE ONE.

She’ll show you:

*How to deal with breakups when all your friends are blissfully in love and coughing out babies.

*How to spot a Player. Every. Single. Time.

*And why playing games like “Hard to Get” never seems to work for you.

Hint: You can’t pretend to be busy if he knows you never leave your house. Sigh!

She’ll help you stop freaking out if you’re stiiillllll flying solo, put an end to self sabotage, and let you know her ONE, most shocking discovery about dating . . . that has nothing to do with dating.

Single and Catless is one part memoir, one part self help book; a game-changer and a riot to read. If you’re ready to learn everything she’s learned from dating everyone, then read on, you sassy little minx.

Buy the book:

Buy the Book On Amazon.

UNDERTONES

About UNDERTONES:

Dane was a reliable guitarist until he got addicted to ants. Now he’s just a giant anteater with an abysmal grade point average. On a date with lead singer, Serena, they witness a gruesome incident. Waking up in the hospital, Dane realizes Serena’s missing. Going to the police only gets him a felony for possession of ants. Now, forced to lick the habit while he tracks down Serena, he’s going to need a little help from the band.

Investigating familiar watering holes (while stopping for one or two drinks) leads him to an underground criminal organization. Is it a coincidence that a feline fatale attempts to recruit him for the mob? Should he expose the dirty underbelly of their society, putting Serena and his band on the line, or try to take them down from the inside? Either way, it’s going to take more than the Komodo dragon on clarinet.

Buy the book:

Buy the Book On Amazon.

The Candidate in the Rye by John Marquane

About The Candidate in the Rye by John Marquane:

One day not too long ago, John Marquane, a writer for the Harvard Lampoon, noticed that The Catcher In The Rye, seminal coming-of-age story for budding jerks everywhere, was actually written in the voice of one Donald J. Trump.’

The Candidate In The Rye parodies this controversial and often-banned masterpiece, reimagining it through the eyes of the Republican nominee as he lags in those dirty, terrible polls with three days to go before the election. Follow America’s least phony candidate as he runs away from his running mate, Pencey, puts on one of literature’s greatest symbols (his red MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN hat), and embarks on a quest to figure out just what the hell’s the point of all this political crap anyway.

Buy the book:

Buy the Book On Amazon.

Behind the Stars

About Behind the Stars:

Lonely handsome geek seeks a companion

The search for love unleashes all forces in the Universe: Meet Peter Wornicki, a very intelligent and handsome, but socially challenged man. His Asperger`s brought him superb knowledge of the working universe but no friends and more importantly no loving girlfriend to share it.
As time passes by, the loneliness forces him to take the leap of faith into the chaotic world of relationships. And the cosmos, accompanied by his demanding family, knows just which universal laws to break on his journey to true love.

Buy the book:

Buy the Book On Amazon.

Kelvinism

About Kelvinism:

What the donglebleeb is this?
Well, to be blunt…this book is a compilation of blog postings and social media mutterings. Ahem. I apologize if you are offended by the language I use but that’s the only way I can think of to get the point across.
You see, English is the only language that I’m able to write in.
What!? Stick with me. Um. Not that close…we don’t even know each other…that’s better. Ahem. Anyway, as the late great gladiator, Sparticus, once said as he prepared to hurl a spear at his enemy. “There’s no point if you don’t have a point.” With that in mind, the poems and essays in this collection each explore a different point.
Yes, they do their exploring in creative ways.
Many times they even use humor or satire to sharpen their points.
Poetry has even been sighted, hiding under this book cover…but fear not, it won’t leave you slighted.
Basically, what we have here is a daily reader full of short shots at one thing or another…interspersed with illustrations of beauty and inspiration.
If you’ve been looking for something different to read. This is it. Who knows, it might even make a difference in how you see the world.

Buy the book:

Buy the Book On Amazon.

Life Champion

About Life Champion:

By the time Buck was 25, he needed to find a Goddamn job and move the fuck out so he could start paying for his own goddamn bills already. At least that is what his parents were always telling him. What his parents didn’t understand was that he was a Psychology major, and Psychology majors don’t do stuff like get good jobs or move out of their parents’ house. With a shitty college major, and not enough charm or good looks to enter the lucrative world of pharma sales like his mom and dad wanted him to, Buck did the only thing he could to make money. This is the incredible true story of how one man defied the odds and became a high school guidance counselor.

Buy the book:

Buy the Book On Amazon.

Not Going Gently by Alex Henderson

About Not Going Gently by Alex Henderson:

Things aren’t going so well for elderly widower Mitch.
His daughter thinks he’s rushed himself into a residential dementia centre before he becomes a burden upon her. In truth he’s more worried that if he doesn’t lock himself away then the secrets of his past will get out.
The care home could be a whole lot nicer, but it’s all he can afford and, anyway, Mitch is determined. He’s sold his house and signed his freedom away. Let them take care of him for the muddled remainder of his days.
Except that he’s not really in need of a place like this yet. And far worse – his former best friend and old band mate Ray is already here.
The last person he’d ever want to be trapped with.
Especially since the secrets are about him.
With a cast of vivid characters who will shock and delight in equal measure, Alex Henderson’s latest is a poignant and darkly hilarious tale of friendship, regret and the need to squeeze the juice out of every day we’re given.

Buy the book:

Buy the Book On Amazon.

The Graveyard Shift: 24/7 Demon Mart 1

About The Graveyard Shift: 24/7 Demon Mart 1:

A frightfully funny novel for horror and fantasy fans.

Lloyd Wallace is the most clueless crossing guard the intersection of hell and earth has ever seen. So clueless, that he doesn’t even realize the beer cave in the corner store where he works is the gateway to hell.

The gate needs a hero, but Lloyd’s a zero, a loser with a capital L. He’s ten thousand dollars in debt and lives with his parents. He’s been fired from every job he’s ever had. He was the first thing his ex-girlfriend tossed to the curb when she upgraded her life.

He had no money and no prospects until the night he accidentally slayed a one-eyed tentacle monster hellbent on world domination. And, impressed by his pure heart and bravery, the suave but devilish owner of the 24/7 Dairy Mart gave Lloyd a job.

His coworkers—a karate-chopping bombshell and a talking roach with a really bad attitude—need Lloyd’s help to keep the demons in line. Can he man up and become a world-saving hero? Or, will he remain a couch-surfing zero? The fate of the world is on the line. What could go wrong?

Buy the book:

Buy the Book On Amazon.

Me and Caesar: The Lost Chronicle (Also, Perhaps Accurate)

About Me and Caesar: The Lost Chronicle (Also, Perhaps Accurate):

The pratfall of the Roman empire …

Toss together one skittish outsider with the swaggering ruler of the known world. Whip in a generous serving of deadly chases, spy rings and desperate disguises. And enjoy the most deranged Caesar salad ever served up.

As a social outcast, Paul has a single ambition for life. To sneak through it unnoticed. Not on Paul’s wish list: Getting snarled in a deadly conspiracy with only one way out. By teaming up with a legendary conqueror – especially one who seems considerably less magnificent up close than anyone could have imagined.

To stay alive, two unexpected companions will need to unite their entirely opposing urges. While facing unthinkable peril. To say nothing of the trash chute, bridal costume and first-ever texting scandal.

The mayhem promises astonishing revelations for both of them. About courage, friendship and surprise identities. They first just need to survive each other. Plus an imperial army.
It’s all told in this exhilarating and almost certainly true history of Rome, unearthed after 2,000 years.

“Terry Pratchett has a love child with Monty Python’s Life of Brian!” (Amazon review). It’s the epic story that history felt too embarrassed to tell. Till now.

Buy the book:

Buy the Book On Amazon.

Kitchen Addiction!

About Kitchen Addiction!:

Meet Mina Kitchen, a 40-something single who likes to cook – and cook and cook. Her zest for whipping up trays of canapés is dwarfed only by her weird luck and mountain-lion size cat, Vinnie. Set in Lancaster, PA, you’ll find a cast of funny characters, plot twists, and recipes.

Buy the book:

Buy the Book On Amazon.

Merry Friggin’ Christmas: An Edgy Christmas Comedy

About Merry Friggin’ Christmas: An Edgy Christmas Comedy:

2019 Illumination Book Awards Bronze Medal Winner!

The perfect gift for that Bah-humbug! in your life!
Merry Friggin’ Christmas
An Edgy Christmas Comedy

“A funny book about Christmas and a dead comedy man…”

“…takes the cake as the best of the holiday season. It has charisma, a fantastic voice, and it was funny as all hell.”

“A fresh and funny take on the holidays…”

Based on The Life of Carlton St. Michael, the NUMBER ONE TOP RATED show on the URN!

So, who is Carlton St. Michael?

Carlton St. Michael is an up-and-coming atheist stand-up comic on the verge of fame and fortune. The only problem is, he’s dead. Actually, twice dead. Caught dead in Jersey. Twice.

And, his life story has become the number one top-rated show on the Undying Rerun Network (URN).

A Christmas Comedy, of all things.

But Carlton isn’t buying any of it. He’s out to prove it’s all some near-death hallucination that will fade to black when he really dies, or vanish when he awakes.

So, are you dying to see how this story turns out? Well, that’s the only way to see it on the URN. You have to die first. But Carlton has written it all down for you, so you can enjoy it without venturing beyond the veil.

Even if you are dying to enjoy Carlton’s story, you need not go that far. You can get the EBook, NOW!

Warning: Merry Friggin’ Christmas is a Christmas Comedy for Adults and is too edgy for children under age 13.
Check out some reviews from some imaginary people:

“This book surprised me. I kept thinking I knew where it was going, and it ended up somewhere else. I wish I did not have to be dead to see it on the URN.”
Misty Fication

“I bought this book because there are elves on the cover. I love elves. The book was so good that I didn’t even realize there were no elves in the story until the end, and it didn’t matter to me at all.”
Sylvaniel the Elven Princess

“I can’t tell you why I loved this book without spoiling the ending. So, let’s just say that I loved it, because of the ending.”
John Q. Endingliker

Buy the book:

Buy the Book On Amazon.

Overcoming Addiction to Making Doody

About Overcoming Addiction to Making Doody:

This book is a brief collection of short stories that will give people a better understanding of what everyday life is like for someone who is an asshole. This book will empower the asshole community and will give assholes everywhere a voice and a chance to be heard. Our voice will be really loud and obnoxious too, and one that probably never shuts the fuck up.

Buy the book:

Buy the Book On Amazon.

Christmas Bizarre

About Christmas Bizarre:

What do Santa’s Sidekick, a dead lawyer and a geriatric vampire have in common? Meet Mina Kitchen. Her luck is getting weird, and her cat’s gnawing elf gear is weirder. Okay, and getting kidnapped a couple of times in one week is a little strange, too.

Buy the book:

Buy the Book On Amazon.

Girth by Alex Henderson

About Girth by Alex Henderson:

Size matters. Or at least it does to Ed, nit-picking quantity surveyor and captain of his local pub football team who has faked a business trip abroad to get some cheap plastic surgery.
Ed intends to be even more of a man upon his return. But has he managed to keep this as secret as he thinks? Will this really be such a wonderful surprise for Fiona on their wedding night? And just who is this operation for anyway?
Alex Henderson’s outrageous comedy debut shows what it means to be a man with a small problem that just got bigger.
Much bigger!

Buy the book:

Buy the Book On Amazon.

Do Not Feed the Clown by Matt Nagin

About Do Not Feed the Clown by Matt Nagin:

“Do Not Feed The Clown” is a humor collection, consisting of 34 short works, that highlight the absurdities of our socio-political climate. It further tackles the mayhem of our news cycle and the inconsistencies of cultural norms. This is a countercultural book, a bit of a challenge to the system, but in a lighthearted way and in the tradition of the court jester. While there are many humor books of this type on the market, this book stands out because of the wide range of topics covered and the precision of satirical analysis. Finally, the author, Matt Nagin, had his work banned from Funny or Die, which, let’s face it, is all the more reason for you to read this book!

Buy the book:

Buy the Book On Amazon.

A Grave Misunderstanding

About A Grave Misunderstanding:

Winner of a 2018 PenCraft Award for Literary Excellence and a Finalist in the 2018 American Fiction Awards.

Murder has come once more to the seaside town of Crab Cove, testing the mettle of “almost handsome” Detective Simon Grave and his “nearly invisible” partner, Sergeant Barry Blunt, who investigate a locked-room mystery with a significant twist: the prime suspects are in the locked room, not the victim, a logic-defying situation that challenges the team at every turn.

As if murder weren’t enough, they must also investigate the simultaneous disappearance of The MacGuffin Trophy from that same locked room, the studio of artist Whitney Waters, famous for her stylized paintings of red herrings.

Who is/are the killer(s)? How did he/she/they get out of the locked room with the trophy, kill the victim, and return unnoticed by others in the room? These and other questions, including the limits of logic and the meaning of life, are posed and perhaps even answered in this quirky, near-future mystery.

Buy the book:

Buy the Book On Amazon.

The Christmas Gift

About The Christmas Gift:

Filled with simple and amusing illustrations, this charming story of a man looking for the perfect Christmas present for his wife will immerse the reader in the spirit and romance of the season. After missing out on the “must have” gift of the year, battling unruly mall crowds, and bartering with a riddling elf, he is left with nothing but a mysterious gift wrapped box he can’t get open. But with the help of some Christmas magic he realizes he’s had the perfect gift all along. The same gift that is within us all:

“The best gift to give; the best give to receive.”

The Christmas Gift.

Buy the book:

Buy the Book On Amazon.

Bangkok Delusions

About Bangkok Delusions:

Scott Marshall was something of a cliché. Divorced and alone he headed to Bangkok in search of something, anything. Ting, shy and innocent caught his eye. She smiled at him. For the first time in his life Marshall left his inhibitions to one side and dived in to an exciting new life. But was the delectable Ting all that she seemed? On his journey he meets the affable but hopeless Bob Lowe; economically trapped in Thailand and addicted to the sex and booze so readily available on the streets of the Big Mango. With equal amounts of joy, despair and even at times hope Zach J Brodsky takes us on a tour of an array of absurd characters all milling around a small area of Bangkok. Laugh out loud humour interspersed with tragedy.

Buy the book:

Buy the Book On Amazon.

Genesis (The New Old Testament, Season 1) by Jay Willem

Genesis (The New Old Testament, Season 1) by Jay Willem

South Park meets the Bible

The New Old Testament is a fictionalised re-imagining of the Bible as told to you by the drunk guy at the party. A drunk guy who seriously knows his scripture.

It’s part adaptation, part commentary, and 100% not for people who take the Bible too seriously. It shares just as much DNA with animated shows like South Park, Rick and Morty, and Archer as it does with the Old Testament.

Buy the book, and follow the author on social media:
Learn more about the writer. Visit the Author’s Website.
Get This Humor Book From Payhip.
Visit the Author’s Facebook Fan Page.