Discount Book Man

A Philosopher, A Psychologist, and An ExtraTerrestrial Walk into a Chocolate Bar by Jass Richards

About A Philosopher, A Psychologist, and An ExtraTerrestrial Walk into a Chocolate Bar by Jass Richards:

FREE DOWNLOADS AT AUTHOR’S WEBSITE

When an independent activist and her office-temp-with-a-doctorate buddy embark on a quest for a chocolate bar (a bar that serves not alcohol, but chocolate – in all its deliciously decadent forms), they pick up a hitchhiking extraterrestrial who’s stopped on Earth to ask for directions. (I know, right?) They do their damnedest to help ‘X’ find the information she needs to get back home, all the while confronting everyday sexism (rather like bashing your head against a jellyfish) and committing assorted outrageous acts and everyday rebellions …

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Spencer’s Risk by Andy Greenhalgh

About Spencer’s Risk by Andy Greenhalgh:

SPENCER’S RISK is a dark comic novel. Burnt out and broke, university Drama lecturer Spencer Leyton is a compulsive gambler, estranged from his wife and children and driving his career over a cliff. His some-time friend Justin invites him to a high-stakes poker game. (‘Justin could sell snow to the Eskimos – literally. For some months he had sold cocaine to the Inuit community in Copenhagen’.) The game ends with Spencer owing £10,000 to Paula Malone, the head of a criminal gang. At work, Spencer is sexually obsessed with a wealthy and glamourous student called Eva. She commits plagiarism, an offence usually punished by expulsion, but bribes him with £3000 to keep quiet about it. Spencer has inside information about a football game, so he bets the £3000 on it, and that is when things really start to go wrong…Eva demands the leading role in the College Showcase Production, with disastrous results. (‘Eva was not wearing the costume she had worn in the Dress Rehearsal. Eva was wearing a sporran. And very little else’)Paula’s deadline runs out. It looks like curtains for Spencer Leyton…

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Smokin’ Weed With Jesus by Clifford Beck

About Smokin’ Weed With Jesus by Clifford Beck:

The story begins in a small town near Portland, Maine where Richard, a bankruptcy attorney, has just taken part in the liquidation of a pornography store. Returning home, he makes the mistake of reaching back for the one thing that soothes the guilt of separating others from their livelihood, and drives headlong into an oncoming vehicle. His body, badly broken, Richard is whisked off to Portland’s Maine Medical Center where he hovers between life and death. As he is about to undergo surgery, he slips into a near-death experience and mysteriously finds himself standing in a familiar-looking place, confused about where he is and how he got there.

But some distance away, sits a man appearing to be dressed as though he had just stepped out of the summer of love. Sitting next to him, Richard surprisingly discovers that this man is none other than Jesus of Nazareth. The ensuing conversation is largely based on Jesus’ calm criticism of humankind, religion, and the need for change in order to foster progress.

The conversation comes to a close with Richard receiving both a mission and a gift, He returns to the human world profoundly changed with the memory of his experience intact, and carrying out the Messiah’s request, he resumes his life with new purpose and an ability that only he possesses. ‘Smokin’ Weed With Jesus’ is an irreverent, humorous criticism given by the King of the Jews and takes aim at the root cause of the world’s problems – our problems. What this book is not is political. The issues that have plagued human history rely on a far more fundamental cause, and it is the author’s goal to present not only the cause but the simplicity of coping with them.

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The Hidden Pull, by Theo Polo

About The Hidden Pull, by Theo Polo:

Suffocating from boredom and bureaucracy in a low-level corporate job, he was starved for adventure. By fate or happenstance, a hidden door led him into a secret underground room the likes of which he had never imagined possible. Surrounded by cascading waterfalls of reflected light and oddly sentient plant beings, he knew he’d found his new obsession. There was just one problem: it was all against the law.

What follows is a decade-long coming of age journey in an obscure and forbidden industry: sometimes breathtaking, at times heartbreaking, occasionally profitable, and always with the mandatory sense of impending legal doom. As he struggles to support his medical patients, haggle prices with shady types and barter with loan sharks—all the while flying under the radar—he is forced to confront an uncomfortable truth: this wasn’t actually what he wanted to do with his life, after all.

Ultimately over a hundred grand in debt, he’d need to fight to salvage friendships, take foolish risks just to keep the lights on, and wrestle with doubts and impostor syndrome to finally discover the real reasons behind this bizarre career choice. As with his illicit harvests, he’d once again have to start from scratch, find his voice, and take another kind of risk: cultivating his first words.

Set as a true crime memoir, The Hidden Pull is full of rebellious adventure, humor, and youthful self-sabotage; an entertaining and sincere account of growing up and learning the painfully necessary lessons of finding and following one’s true path.

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Our Cats Are Plotting To Kill Us by Jim Tilberry

Our Cats Are Plotting To Kill Us by Jim Tilberry

Julie and Darryl are a married couple who discover a way to read the minds of their cats, Oliver and Wendell. By doing so, they find out some amazing stuff about their feline companions. Oliver and Wendell are exceptionally smart. They philosophize about life, understand Spanish, and know history and pop culture. The cats also have hilarious “conversations” about every cat behavior from chasing mice to grooming to using the litter box. However, Julie and Darryl also discover a sinister side to their cats. It appears Oliver and Wendell are secretly scheming to murder their owners. Now the couple faces a crisis. Are the cats really going to murder them, and if so, how do they stop them? This fictional book includes many funny twists and surprises. It also includes many humorous illustrations. If you’re a cat owner and familiar with the unique and interesting ways cats behave, you’ll love this wacky new book. The ebook is free to download on Monday, February 19th.

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Cheating Lovers

About Cheating Lovers:

When Faith Lowe got pregnant for Dex Mattis, every taxi and bus driver, conductor and even loader men were claiming to be the father of her unborn baby. Faith couldn’t understand because all she did with those guys was to run jokes with them. Dex was of a mind to disown the baby, but friends persuaded him otherwise. Faith had to remind him about the number of times he would lay-wait her bus and whisk her off to either the Hill View or the River Road hotel. Dex has another girlfriend, Dorene and a baby mother, Heidi. About two years ago, a girl by the name of Jacinth was pregnant for him but had a miscarriage. Faith’s parents ship her off to live with an aunt in Portmore. Dex is now along with Dorene alone as she told him that Faith has a man in Kingston. Before Faith left for Portmore, she and the guy, Damian Prince, attended a party and left together. When Dex asked her if he was her baby father, she reminded him about the torrid nights they spent at those two hotels. He told her to stay with Prince and leave him alone. She told him to stay with Dorene and leave her alone. Two new female teachers came to teach school as substitute teachers. Dex falls in love with one of them, Kerryan. He invited her to go to a party with him. She agrees despite her misgivings about Faith and Dorene. He told her that although he had accepted Faith’s baby, they were not on good terms. As far as Dorene was concerned, he was no longer seeing her. Dex was surprised to see Dorene at the party with a guy by the name of Kes Paul. He is a minibus operator and owns more than one bus plus several taxis. Dex is seething with anger. Kerryan asks him that if he knew he would be angry at seeing Dorene out with another man why did he invite her. As soon as he reaches home he calls Dorene and accuse of going to bed with Kes but she denies it. Instead she accuses him of going to bed with Kerryan which he denies. He tells her to stay with Kes and she tells him to stay with Kerryan and leave her alone. Kerryan’s boyfriend accuse her of sleeping with Dex but she said she only went to the social with him. Dorene calls Faith and tells her about Dex and erryan. She says that she has left him because he has no money and was seeing Kes who has more money than him. He is just running a broken down old shop and bar that has to support him, his parents and his brothers and sisters. Faith told her that she is lying and want Dex but Doreen says that Dex was too poor for her to be interested in him. Faith told her that she was only showing off. Faith calls Kerryan and accuse her of going to bed with her baby father. But she said all she did was go to the social with Dex. She never went to bed with him. Faith said she didn’t believe her and warned her to leave Dex alone. Kerryan’s boyfriend calls and accuse her of partying with Dex and going to sleep with him. She again denies sleeping with Dex but he wants her to return to live in Kingston, but she says that it would involve too much travelling. Dex is also friendly with two girls, Sadie and Curline. He was friendly with both girls up to a few yeas but broke up with them for one reason or another. There was also a big rumor that still persists, that he got both of them pregnant and told them to give it to other men. Like Dex, both girls have consistently odenied that rumor. People like Faith and Doreen have openly questioned them about it. Indeed Faith has made it clear that if she finds out that Dex is seeing either Curline or Sadie again she will be leaving him.
Writing-Profile of Austin Mitchell
Austin Mitchell has so far written sixteen novels and is completing more works. He has written many short Writing-Profile of Austin Mitchell
Austin Mitchell has so far written sixteen novels and is completing more works. He has written many short stories, a few plays and poems. Several of his short stories have been published in his homeland, Jamaica. He has read hundreds of novels and has read widely on the subject. He has also attended a few writing workshops.
, a few plays and poems. Several of his short stories have been published in his homeland, Jamaica. He has read hundreds of novels and has read widely on the subject. He has also attended a few writing workshops.

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Mom & Dad Are Dinosaurs!

About Mom & Dad Are Dinosaurs!:

What happens when a snarky kid drags his no-tech parents kicking and screaming into the 21st century? He writes a book about it!

This kid doesn’t mince words: “Forget Google and ChatGPT; Dad gets his questions answered by a Magic 8 Ball and his drunk uncle. Dad refuses to use GPS. He says, ‘Great, now I have two women telling me how to drive.’ Mom’s high-tech treadmill has a fitness app. She entered what she ate in one day and it sent an ambulance to our house. Neither of them understands our Smart TV’s remote. It can’t change channels but it shuts off our neighbor’s home dialysis machine.”

Come on the uproarious ride as Mom and Dad declare war on:
Online Shopping
Email
Zoom Calls
Voice Mail
Alexa
Social Media
Robot Vacuums
Streaming Music
Artificial Intelligence
Smartphones

Illustrated with hilarious photos and described in wisecracking detail, Mom & Dad Are Dinosaurs! will bring the funny to your whole family.

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Close Encounters in King Edmund’s Court

About Close Encounters in King Edmund’s Court:

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Fly, die! by Steven Ryan

About Fly, die! by Steven Ryan:

A seagull in an English seaside town acquires a taste for hunting and killing cats. Embarking on a killing spree, the bird inadvertently adds to an adolescent boy’s woes while causing paranoia in local cats.

As the cat population diminishes, a brilliant Abyssinian called Joseph chances upon the truth and sets out to restore natural law where cats are the predators, and birds are their victims.

Although media and public pressure to catch the cat killer builds, a recession and the uncertainty of Brexit means the underfunded civil service isn’t too interested in solving cat deaths.

Eventually, after much public pressure, Constables Franklin and Wilkin are put on the case. Stumbling upon evidence via social media, they find their killer. Unfortunately, their deductive reasoning is flawed, resulting in an innocent teenager taking the fall, adding to his already significant problems.

Mrs Crick is only too aware of nature’s cruelty, and although a lover of wildlife, especially the sparrows that play in her garden, nature shocks and scares her sometimes. Having already overcome many traumas in her long life, she suffers more as the seagull and his family reside on her roof.

Nature is cruel, but the bloated British civil service is more cruel. And corrupt and stupid, too.

Most species try to protect their families, but life is hard, and DNA adapts slowly to cope with environmental changes. While most evolve for the better, humanity seems to get worse and worse.

A dark social satire (depending on your point of view), telling a tale about nature, family and politics.

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Bad Jokes Adult Size Fun – LOL Unleased

About Bad Jokes Adult Size Fun – LOL Unleased:

Ladies and gentlemen, misfits and mavericks, welcome to the pinnacle of comedic literature – or at least, the pinnacle of your search results! Buckle up, because you’re about to embark on a journey through the unparalleled realm of humor, where sophistication and subtlety take a backseat, and the brakes are conspicuously absent.

In the grand tradition of humorists and jesters, we proudly present to you “Bad Jokes for Fun Adult Size – LoL Unleashed.” You might wonder, “Why would anyone willingly subject themselves to bad jokes?” Well, dear readers, why not? After all, life is too short to take seriously, and let’s be honest, we adults could use a good dose of unabashed, unapologetic laughter.

As you hold this literary masterpiece (okay, maybe not a masterpiece, but we’re aiming high) in your hands, prepare to witness the kind of jokes that are so bad, they’ve become an art form. These are the jokes your inner child chuckles at while your inner critic grumbles in the corner. But guess what? We’ve handed your inner critic a mute button, and we’re pressing it repeatedly.

“Bad Jokes for Fun Adult Size – LoL Unleashed” is a collection of puns so puny, they’d make a dad blush. It’s a parade of one-liners so short, they’d make a minimalist poet feel verbose. It’s a circus of groans, eye rolls, and guffaws, where each sentence is like a rollercoaster – you know it’s going to be bad, but you can’t help but ride along.

So, what can you expect? Some Yo momma jokes, Yo momma so ugly jokes, and expect jokes so dry, they make the Sahara look like a water park. Expect wordplay so twisted, that it’ll have grammarians questioning their life choices. Expect puns so pun-tastic, that they’d earn a standing ovation from a roomful of crickets. And if you’re asking, “Why adult size?” Well, it’s simple; we believe that even adults deserve to regress to their pre-adolescent giggles once in a while.

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Close Encounters in King Edmund’s Court: Alien Adventures in Medieval England

About Close Encounters in King Edmund’s Court: Alien Adventures in Medieval England:

When alien spacecraft descended upon medieval England, the entire realm was thrown into a state of unparalleled chaos and horror.
Despite the inherently peaceful intentions of the aliens, their arrival sent shockwaves of fear and deep-seated suspicion throughout the land. The fear was so profound that people readily embraced the notion that these creatures were nothing less than malevolent demons. During their stay in the isolated forests of Yorkshire, the aliens experienced a multitude of enthralling adventures, infused with dark humor and an abundance of funny predicaments, all while eagerly anticipating the arrival of their rescue spacecraft.

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Coffee Cups & Wine Glasses. Hilarious Secrets to Heal a Broken Heart & Get Your Life Back!

About Coffee Cups & Wine Glasses. Hilarious Secrets to Heal a Broken Heart & Get Your Life Back!:

Award-winning, #1 Bestseller: This collection of shameless tales and ingenious schemes is woven into a series of hilarious triumphs filled with love, grief, and mischief. You can laugh; you may cry, but you will ultimately be inspired and redirected in a meaningful way – with a new perspective.

Discover the one word that will change your life.

Uncover outrageously unusual secrets for getting on with your life after a big disappointment, loss, breakup, or divorce. No matter what you’ve been through, every reader (you) will achieve a heightened sense of happiness and a deeper level of confidence than you ever imagined.

Inspirational stories and hilarious activities will awaken your genius and motivate you to revitalize your life in ways you never thought of.

You’ll not only learn how to tie knots when you’re at the end of your rope, pamper yourself (you’ll go back to this chapter for the rest of your life), and outsmart a bear; you will find remarkable ideas to enhance your notoriety before you croak. PLUS, a sure-fire plan for getting your life back.

Full of:
Encouragement
Enlightenment
Life Hacks
Recipes
Healing
Gut-busting inspiration to create happiness all around you
Gleeful tactics to escape humiliation, balconies, & boredom

Find the secret to true happiness.

It’s a Journal
It’s a Vision Board
It’s entertaining, comical, & inspiring

Coffee Cups & Wine Glasses is the perfect gift for yourself, your friends, and anyone who needs a lighthearted boost, a new outlook on life, or needs to laugh hysterically with resilience and courage.

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Right Swipe! A Quest for Love by Marilee Grace

About Right Swipe! A Quest for Love by Marilee Grace:

Have you ever been on a dating app? Do you have one on your phone right now? If not, are you just a little bit curious? That is how it all started for Marilee Grace. Curiosity.
In Right Swipe! A Quest for Love, Marilee Grace embarks on a heartfelt, sometimes crazy, quest for true love. Join her as she navigates the world of dating apps, relationships, and ultimately, the transformative power of embracing oneself.
From the highs and lows of swiping through profiles to the emotional roller coaster of failed connections, this book uncovers the valuable lessons learned along the way. With humor, encouragement, and raw honesty, Right Swipe! A Quest for Love reveals the importance of self-love as the foundation for finding meaningful relationships.
Through introspection, soul-searching, and encounters with inspiring women, the author discovers that the key to true happiness lies within herself. She learns to prioritize self-care, set boundaries, and cultivate a deep love and appreciation for her own worth. Along this empowering journey, she unapologetically becomes the person she was always meant to be – an authentic confident RightSwipeGirl.
This book goes beyond mere dating antidotes, encouraging readers of all genders and relationship statuses to pursue themselves. It explores the universal need for self-love and offers practical insights and advice on how to navigate the complexities of relationships with grace, wisdom, and self-assurance.
Whether you’re single, in a relationship, or somewhere in between, Right Swipe! A Quest for Love will inspire you to Right Swipe on yourself. It’s time to embrace your true worth, cultivate self-love, and unlock the transformative power within you. Get ready to embark on a journey that will change the way you view yourself, relationships, and the world around you.

Price will be 99 cents!

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Our Cats Are Plotting To Kill Us by Jim Tilberry

Our Cats Are Plotting To Kill Us by Jim Tilberry

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Don’t Ask Dumb Questions!

About Don’t Ask Dumb Questions!:

Are you sick and tired of being asked silly questions? Society has been raised to believe that there are no dumb questions and the only dumb question is the one not asked. However, just when you thought you heard the dumbest, ludicrous question someone takes it down to the next level with their sheer stupidity. Have you ever wondered if this is the dullest time in history? Has society lost all of its brain cells? Get ready to get entertained but please Don’t Ask Dumb Questions! Over 1000 of the most hilarious questions ever asked all in one complete book.

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Our Cats Are Plotting To Kill Us

About Our Cats Are Plotting To Kill Us:

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OH MY DOG! BY PERI TAUB, PANDEMIC THERAPIST WITH PAWS (as transcribed by her person, BARB TAUB)

About OH MY DOG! BY PERI TAUB, PANDEMIC THERAPIST WITH PAWS (as transcribed by her person, BARB TAUB):

“They’re trying to kill me.” Barb aimed a quality glare at the narrow streets outside the car window. “And I can’t kill all of them first. I’d never be able to hide that many bodies in a foreign country.”
Luckily, I know exactly what to do when my human waxes murderous. I sit up, head tilted to one side, ears perked. If her voice sounds happy, I give a butt-wiggle. But if it sounds urgent, I offer my belly for rubs, adding a small whine that says, “You can tell me. I’ll always agree with you. I’ll follow you even when you move to foreign places like Illinois and England. (Well, maybe not Illinois.) And I don’t have opposable thumbs, so I’ll never post anything on Facebook.”

The Hub, clearly not a graduate of advanced Dog Congeniality 101, kept his gaze on the red light as he replied, “No one is trying to kill you.”
Barb narrowed her eyes at unmasked pedestrians crossing in front of our car. “They aren’t even pretending to put their facemasks over their noses. They’re breathing at me.”

***
We were in the middle of Italy, in the middle of a pandemic. Barb had been in lockdown with the Hub for over a year and frankly, she needed help. But so did everyone else in the world. It was Catch-22. She couldn’t get emergency therapy because it was sane to expect everyone else to be insane.

Luckily, there was a therapist right under her nose, the only one who adored her with a single-minded ferocity eclipsing all else (with the possible exception of anyone holding a dog bowl at food o’clock). I’d been in training for this my whole life, and I absolutely nailed the pandemic therapist (with paws) role. We shared the couch, pre-dawn walks, self-inflicted haircuts, hospital-avoiding wound treatment via Doctors Google and YouTube, and a pandemic. Barb didn’t assault serial killers anti-maskers, and I didn’t eat out of the trash can.

Mostly.

***
“You could read it in one go (has anyone ever actually died laughing?) or keep dipping in and out. It lends itself to either. But whichever you choose, eating and/or drinking while reading is not advised, as several people have found to their (and their appliances’) costs.”—CathyR reviews Barb Taub’s writing for Between The Lines Book Reviews

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Dont Panic Duck and Cover… by Gurtrude Perkins.

About Dont Panic Duck and Cover… by Gurtrude Perkins.:

The book iz a funny look @ life, first growing up here in Newcastle and then working away in various places, not the work like but all the gud times back then, these are true stories, some dark but mostly funny… I also write in a dyslexic font to aid me but it makes for easy reading for anyone, please enjoy…

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Our Cats Are Plotting To Kill Us

About Our Cats Are Plotting To Kill Us:

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Speaking in Tungs by Karla M. Jay

Speaking in Tungs by Karla M. Jay

A new job in rural Pennsylvania. How hard can five patients be?

In this entertaining novel set in rural Pennsylvania, a young woman from San Francisco searches for her birth parents while beginning her first job as a home-health speech pathologist. She soon learns how hard one job can be as she navigates the backwoods of Tungston, (“Tungs”) trying to comply with the needs of her quirky patients, all the while being stalked by a violent fugitive, and finding herself unexpectedly falling for the charms of a small-town, including one hot fireman. Through no fault of her own, she exposes a criminal who has been safely hidden in the thick forest, and now as he tries to stop her from exposing him, her patients’ lives, as well as her own are in jeopardy.