What links a webcam girl, a cross-dressing police chief and an escaped ferret?
A British nation torn by Brexit staggers on. Frankie Ferret, a pre-school children’s TV celebrity escapes into sewers of London and surely is dead. The people unite in grief. Police Chiefs, counselors and politicos stand in tear stained sincerity with the common people. Viktor Pinupskin of Russia offers a genetically modified bear cub with his own face as a substitute. Internet bots urge a vote and attempt to sway the masses. Chaos and panic threaten to destroy the economy.
Into the mix steps young police inspector Crispin Bissel. His mission is to lead the search and target PR for the cops. His ex girlfriend, Selena Fontesse is a mature ex web cam girl specializing in veggie porn. She has the looks and the bosom to comfort a people broken by sorrow.
Could love be re-kindled over an open drain? Could Frankie be alive? Could a billionaire, a hot air balloon, a pop star, and a staring messianic child bring happiness back to a population in despair? And what if the big plans were to fail?
What if there were a cover up?
A deplorable basket case of a book. All right thinking people should be offended. Cross dressing vegan cannibals will love this story. There’s no safe space on campus when a ferret like Frankie gets into the pipes. A tender love story, an outrageous unfair satire, an expose of the media-cult whirl in which we live where news, fake news and spin are the currencies of coercion.
Buy this book and forgive yourself for laughing. It’s not incorrect if you didn’t mean to.
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Oscar Sparrow was born in Winchester UK in 1949, apparently thanks to the American Marshal Aid programme to re-build Europe after the war. As the colour red leached its way out of the map of the British Empire, Oscar attended a die-hard Church school designed to create noble savages to serve what was left of the savage Nobles. The Eleven Plus exam revealed that he could not even count to eleven and he became a mechanic, labourer, truck driver, boxer and poet. He read Wordsworth and Ford Cortina manuals in a lorry cab near both Oxford and Cambridge universities. He married a kind forgiving woman who eventually forgave herself for that one big mistake. He has several wonderful children and hopes that one day they will all meet.
At the age of 25 he heard the music of Edith Piaf and learned to sing all her songs. A few years later he realised she was French and that he was an ugly swan not a beautiful duckling. The shock propelled him to London where he joined the Metropolitan Police. Car chases and riots followed but he did not take it personally. He spent his spare time touring the Art galleries, singing Piaf and learning Italian. Eventually The Authorities fell for the con and gave him a desk job in the Art department of Interpol London at Scotland Yard.
One day a few years later, the lure of the wild swept him away to the roads of Europe as road gipsy trucker. His love of fried battered fish eventually drew him back to England where he drove sewage tankers and set up a taxi business.
Throughout all this time he was a would be poet, short story writer and novelist. Always scribbling he sent waves of short stories to magazines and published poems via the National Poetry Foundation magazines.