Asshole is the vivid, heartbreaking, and harrowing true story that explores the depths of what life is like as an asshole. Some critics are saying this is the most important book since the Bible. Asshole is the kind of book that will change your life. If you don’t believe me, my third cousin from Jersey didn’t read it, and he’s still on heroin. My nan and pap didn’t read it either. Now they are both dead.
Buck Brennan spent his whole life living a lie, the same way gay people do before they realize they are gay. He tried to fit in and do things he thought normal people do like have manners, chew with their mouth closed, and not pee all over the toilet seat, but it never felt natural to Buck. Deep down inside he had this burning desire to talk during movies, wipe boogies on the couch, put empty milk cartons back in the fridge, and squeeze the toothpaste from the top. Even as small a child, Buck would find himself staring off into the distance in parking lots, longing for the day when he could someday drive his own car so he could take up two spaces. Buck spent forty years struggling with being an asshole. This is his story
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Buck Brennan Bio
Buck Brennan is best known for being late for work, farting, and yelling at his kids in Wal-Mart. He also has an uncanny ability to drink incredible amounts of beer. Once, back in 2009, he drank over 30 beers at a family reunion. Everyone was so impressed with this awesome feat of beer drinking that they picked him up off the picnic table he was passed out on and carried him home on their shoulders like a true champion of life. Buck’s beer drinking prowess has since grown in stature, solidifying his place in history as a true virtuoso in the art of getting shit-faced drunk.
Buck came from very humble beginnings where he remains even today. He was born in 1979 in rural Pennsylvania just outside of Philadelphia where he would spend the better part of his childhood masturbating to his dad’s Penthouse magazines. By the time he was 14, he was considered to be one of the most active masturbaters of his generation. Eventually, he did have sex with a real girl, then he got married and had two kids named Tucker and Macy, but his love for masturbation never waned. In fact, he still masturbates today when no one is home or when he is the shower.
By the time Buck was 25, he needed to find a Goddamn job and move the fuck out so he could start paying for his own goddamn bills already. At least that is what his parents were always telling him. What his parents didn’t understand was that he was a Psychology major, and Psychology majors don’t get good jobs or move out of their parents’ house. With a shitty college major, and not enough charm or good looks to enter the lucrative world of pharma sales like his mom and dad wanted him to, Buck did the only thing he could to make money. He became a high school guidance counselor. Buck has never won any awards for his writing, but he has won many participation awards over the years and countless drinking games in college. Currently, Buck lives in rural PA with his dog, his cat, and his two children 50% of the time. In his free time, he enjoys giving Dutch Ovens, complaining about stuff, and fighting with his ex-wife