Did you bring the salt?A creaky old robot shows up in a backward, medieval kingdom, promptly triggering all-out war.It’s elves versus humans, humans versus dwarves, and pretty much everyone versus the goblins.At least there are no dragons to worry about, because they’ve been boned, filleted and barbecued to the brink of extinction. Hey, it’s their own fault for being delicious.Throw in a wizard with pockets full of mysterious herbs, a volatile halfling with a hair-trigger temper and a barbarian who’d rather bed the nearest princess than wield his other mighty sword, and you have the makings of a crazed, epic trilogy.Can the robot survive this feudal insanity, or will he end up shared between the warring factions… literally?This is the first novel in a humorous fantasy trilogy. Each book continues plot lines and character arcs from the previous title, with everything wrapping up in book three. They’re not stand-alones!Also available: an omnibus edition containing all three titles, and an audiobook edition of the whole trilogy.Simon Haynes is the author of thirty novels, most in the science fiction and fantasy genre.
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Simon Haynes lives in Western Australia, where he divides his time between herding deadly spiders, dodging drop bears, and making up wildly inaccurate sentences like this one.By day he’s an author. By night he’s also an author.He loves wry, dry humour, and his hobbies include daringly inserting the letter U into words where — in some parts of the world at least — this simply isn’t the done thing.As for his genre-spanning novels, they include epic fantasy (with robots), scifi comedy (also with robots), middle grade humour (featuring robots AND the wanton use of the letter U), as well as a series of historical mystery novels set in 1870’s London. (No, of course there aren’t robots in those. He’s not completely out of his mind.)When he’s not writing Simon is usually renovating his house, sim-racing online, using twitter (@spacejock), gardening, tweaking his book covers, pondering the meaning of the universe and reading, and if you think it’s easy doing all that at the same time you should see what he can do with a mug of coffee, a banana and a large bag of salt.When he’s not making outlandish claims he likes to count how many novels he’s written, and how many genres he’s written them in. (Lots and too many.)Finally, if you want to hear Simon reading one of his award-winning stories, you’ll find an enticement to join his newsletter here: spacejock.com.au/ML.html