It’s the end times.
God is on vacation in Bermuda.
Jesus is a clown.
Lisa is a mental patient with schizoaffective disorder, a stripper, an ascended master, President of the United States, Jesus’s lover, Satan’s ex-wife, God’s replacement, and the author of this book. She’s desperate for love.
Satan is Santa Claus and is trying to gain dominion over the world.
It’s up to Lisa and Jesus to stop Satan from gaining dominion, but it’s not an easy task—and God isn’t much help. If Lisa and Jesus fail, God will destroy the world. If they succeed, they could lose each other.
This novella blends the author’s real delusions, experiences, and imagination to create a magical world filled with unicorns, angels, leprechauns, vampires, ascended masters, Martians, bag ladies, jabberwockies and much more.
In many ways, the novella mimics the experience of having delusions. At first, Fred the unicorn is real, then he isn’t, then he’s real again. Realities shift throughout book, making mental illness come alive.
Be transported to the heights of craziness in this hilarious and sexy comedy, adventure, and romance.
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Lisa VanZandt is a not-so-crazy, crazy forty-something woman living in Michigan with her mom. She’s a kind-of-pudgy hottie who loves to eat mostly vegetarian food. She spent most of the last six years working for a Christian organization and, surprising as it may seem, fit in quite well. Now she doesn’t really do anything besides read, write, meditate, crochet, practice EFT, take walks, and contemplate self-publishing and freelance editing as a possible career. The Subway Is for Unicorns, which she wrote eight years ago, is her first book. She plans to write a sequel. She also has some children’s stories and poetry she plans to self-publish under different pen names.