What happens when President Donald Trump sits down with noted journalist Harold Bollinger for an off the record conversation? You won’t believe the shocking admissions and candid statements revealed!
Elliott Rose is having a bad day. After being fired from his job as the clandestine stooge on hit TV show Ghostbusters UK, Elliott returns home to find his girlfriend missing. To make matters worse, Hapkido Valentine, the legendary 1980s wrestler, has returned from the dead and taken up residency in Elliott’s flat. Despite a voracious appetite for sausage sandwiches, Hapkido is convinced he has finally become the mystical Japanese warrior he once portrayed in the ring.
Together they must undertake a dangerous journey to find out why the Universe created this most unlikely of partnerships. All that stands in their way is a medallion wearing TV psychic, a train-spotting assassin and the murderous intentions of the local over 75’s women’s group. If Elliott thought the day started badly, things are about to get a whole lot worse.
You’ve come a long way, Frankie! Meet the new Frankenstein, Frank N. Stein, who’s finally evolved into the everyman he always wanted to be, or at least as close as he could ever hope to be. The only problem is the world’s evolved right along with him. And now he, along with the everyman, has a whole new set of problems to deal with. Seems the more things change the more they remain the same….
Set in New York City in the dawn of twenty-first century, Frank N. Stein— an easygoing, none too swift and all too mild-mannered, out of work and out of ideas, once famous monster man of stage and screen lore— finds himself pitted against a self-absorbed (and accident-prone) corporate billionaire CEO who heads up the ever-expanding Classy Corp product empire, and who has a penchant for branding all his products under his, what else, Classy Corp moniker. Including his skyscrapers with his two-story high, golden-glowing name plate. (Remind you of anybody? Tick-tock, tick-tock…)
Separated from his diva/torch singing wife and struggling hopelessly to rein in his 17-year-old headstrong daughter and his slipping finances, “Frankie,” to his hot dog vending friends, must learn to get tough, and quick, and tap into his long-dormant inner monster to compete and survive the looming Classy Corp threat… or continue on his downward slide to impending doom and destruction. Oh dear!
Peppered with politically incorrect character and observations, and hot dogs, this freshly delivered Frankenstein/the everyman versus the corporation comedy/allegory not only asks the age-old question, who exactly is the monster in the room, but more importantly, what exactly does the little man and woman plan on doing about it… while there’s still time to do something about it. All under the fast approaching shadow of Frankenstein’s 200th anniversary.
With an idea originally conceived nearly a decade ago, this irreverent comedy/satire/whatever holds even more relevance today in the wake of America’s 2016 presidential election. While its easy to read “screen story” (screenplay) format will be more fully explained in the Preface and should pose no problem at all for any reader, short…or tall….
The book will be free from October 13 thru October 15
Curl up in front of the fire, with this fun, festive read.
Daisy Jones has hit rock bottom. Or so she believes.
A cheating boyfriend, trouble at work, having to move back in with her mother, and being forced to compare her brother’s loved-up, newly-wed status and brand-new shiny house with her own dire lack of prospects, isn’t what she imagined her life was going to be like at thirty. To top it all off, Christmas, is just around the corner!
Daisy, bless her, thinks things can’t possibly get any worse, but when her ancient great-grandmother persuades her to plant a silver sixpence in the Christmas pud for luck, Daisy is about to discover that they most definitely can.
Who would think that words carved into a 200-year old tree could cause so much controversy in this day and age? Well, technically, it’s not even a tree. While early drafts of the Constitution were likely written on hemp paper, the final was considered significant enough to warrant going out and skewering a sheep to make parchment. Ewww.
The historically accurate and decidedly entertaining owner’s manual, The Constitution – A Revolutionary Story covers the how’s, what’s, and why’s of the United States founding documents – but with a healthy dose of political humor. It offers a historically accurate and informative background on the nation’s founding documents, but unlike the original, it won’t put you into a coma or lead to irritable bunion syndrome. The mission is simple: to make the Constitution so easy to understand that even a career politician can grasp it.
“197.23 trillion people have never read the actual Constitution,” observes author Tom McHale. “OK, so maybe that figure is more of an estimate than a carefully researched fact. Regardless, most people arguing about what’s constitutional and what’s not know less about what it says than they do about the chemical composition of spackle.”
Reading the original text of the founding documents can be daunting. Was a little political humor high on the framer’s collective priority list? Probably not.
“Digesting the Constitution can be a bit boring, in part because it’s full of strange words like “attainder.” We’re pretty sure that ‘attainder’ has never even been on the Master’s Series of Wheel of Fortune, so how is anyone supposed to know what that is?”
The Constitution – A Revolutionary Story covers the underlying concepts of natural rights and the real purpose of consent-based government. Hint: it’s not to subpoena and investigate each other.
The heart of the book is a simplified and fun walk through the events leading up to the creation of the founding documents. It wasn’t easy. Remember the last time you attended a PTA meeting? Stop and think about the angst, pettiness, infighting, alliances, physical threats, and political struggles. Got a clear mental picture? Good. Now multiply that by eleventy-nine trillion, and you have a pretty good idea of what the process of designing and implementing the Constitution looked like.
The Constitution – A Revolutionary Story includes the following sections:
• A Brief History
• A New Type of Government
• Constitutional What’s and Why’s
• The Declaration of Independence
• How the Constitution Came to Be
• What Does the Constitution Say?
• The Bill of Rights
• Later Amendments
• The Constitution Today
• The Original Founding Documents
The Constitution – A Revolutionary Story will not only help you impress your friends, but it’ll also equip you to dominate your social media debates!
I can’t believe I work for this jerk!
We know what you’re talking about. Read what others have shared about their wacko bosses, and take a moment to write down your boss’s stupid, mean, ridiculous, less-than-stellar moments. Then, color your favorite swear word for your boss and the career-limiting responses you wish you could say. There isn’t an easier, more colorful, therapeutic or safe way to have fun at their expense. You deserve it!
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Bad Choices Make Good Stories is a darkly funny coming-of-age novel based on true events. Oliver, a teenage hacker living in Germany, meets Donna online. She’s an American girl living in New York. After chatting and talking on the phone for months, he finally decides to surprise her with a visit. But he soon finds out that things are not what they appeared to be, and that this visit will change his life forever.
Just When You Thought it was Safe to be Healthy…
When his doctor mistakenly types the wrong code into his electronic medical record, Myron Moskowitz – Mike, to the entire world except his mother, Celia – finds life, or at least the one he’s grown used to, suddenly turned tush-over-teakettle. With that single dodgy digital diagnosis, a chain reaction is set in motion leading Mike to lose his job, accidentally get all trace of himself wiped off of every computer in the known universe, and seriously contemplate buying a Harley. And Mike isn’t exactly what you’d call a motorcycle kind of Moskowitz.
Somehow Mike must find a way to get back on the grid and get his old job back, all without his wife finding out about any of it.
Hot dogs, pimps, elephants and crime. These things have absolutely nothing to do with this epic twisted tale, but you have to admit they’re pretty attention grabbing, right?!?
Bored of reading the same old hum-drum books about superheroes, lawn furniture and how to grow the best cheese log? My Uncle Jack’s Off is a one-of-a-kind tale with a ham-fisted, adult-focused tone that will have you laughing out loud with every turn of the page until your belly aches. The best part? You’ll know your stomach hurts from laughter and not tapeworms!
Here are just a few of the thought-provoking things world-renown book critics have had to say about My Uncle Jack’s Off
– “I used my left hand to turn the pages instead of my right and it was like sharing an unforgettable experience with a stranger.” – Rosie Palmer
– “I’ve heard some tall tales, but Uncle Jack has a story so big you may not be able to take it all at once.” – D.T. Sanchez
– “My favorite part was the check I received for this endorsement” – Handsomely compensated reader who wishes to remain anonymous
– “Finally, a story that the common unicyclist can relate to” – Gary the Unicyclist
– “[Shakes book…] How do I get the sound out?” – Reginald, the guy down the block who confuses audio with print
– “I find this book VERY hard to put down!” – Prank victim who got his hand superglued to the book
– “It’s the perfect length. What they say is true… size matters.“ – A guy obsessed with tape measurers. Why, what’d you think?
This book gives you all the raucous fun you can handle without being committed for excessive laughter. Perfect for late-night bedtime stories, bar mitzvahs, propping up a coffee table leg, surprise parties for the elderly, as a replacement for a toaster manual, or even light bathroom reading, it’s time you saw Uncle Jack’s Off for yourself.
Pick up a copy of My Uncle Jack’s Off today! You’ll love the side-splitting story, hidden pictures, and one man’s epic climax to fun.
Because Parks and Routh are the authors, I, Claire—whom this book is practically about—will be doing this blurb-y thing.
Meet Yvonne, my wonderful mother, and Stephanie, my mom’s awesome childhood friend, who’ve known each other since they were kids—so, for about a trillion years—and have since grown up, gotten married, dated, done all the adult things like go to college and pay taxes, and now are living grown-up lives. This implies they’ve grown up. They have not— and they do weird stuff, like exposing infants to bordellos and hide in office attics.
There are some pretty crazy stories here that are certainly entertaining (the best ones are about me) as these two young women in their late 20’s go on their separate misadventures, occasionally meeting up like the Avengers for some big, epic, world-threatening event. (Helloooo, Russell Crowe!) Yvonne is a married attorney in the ‘burbs who quickly finds out that she is expecting. Stephanie, a city planner, enjoys the singles’ life, which is “interrupted” by a handsome stud named Pierce.
This is the collection of their separate journeys—from two very different lifestyles, about how positively nuts their respective day-to-day lives can be—captured in keystrokes sent back and forth over the Internet. These two women learn just how nuts planet Earth can be, and find a way to roll with the punches as they come. And there are a lot… Of punches. A. LOT! . (You’ll know what I mean.) Enjoy!
Pianist in a Bordello
What would happen if a politician decided to tell the truth—the whole truth?
Richard Youngblood, aspiring Congressman, is about to find out. He’s running on a platform of honesty and transparency—and against the advice of his friends and advisers he’s decided to start with himself. His autobiography will lay his entire life bare before voters just days before the election.
And what a life he’s had. Born in a commune and named Richard Milhous Nixon Youngblood as an angry shot at his absent father, Richard grows up in the spotlight, the son of an enigmatic fugitive and the grandson of a Republican senator. He’s kidnapped and rescued, kicked out of college for a prank involving turkeys, arrested in Hawaii while trying to deliver secrets to the CIA…Dick Nixon Youngblood’s ready to tell all.
He’ll even tell his readers about the Amandas—three women who share a name but not much else, and who each have helped shape and define the man he’s become.
Are voters really ready for the whole truth?
Pianist in a Bordello is a hilarious political romp through the last four decades of American history, from a narrator who is full of surprises.
Of all the cat books on the market, this is the one that will tell you of a secret brotherhood of cats who follow certain rules for dealing with humans!
Cats live by a set of rules that have developed through the ages. For the first time in history, one cat has broken ranks to put them into print.
If you only buy one cat book this year, make it this one. No other book will give you as much insight into the mind of your cat than The Cat Rule Book.
“Letters to be Read in a Heavily British Accent” recounts the hilarious (and historically-set) misadventures of Sherwood, a recruit in H. Majesty’s army; and Penelope, his bit-of-all-right back home. Through their letters they share incidents and events, and discuss their relationship, which looks good on paper, but…
Fantasy hockey just got real. Two bitter collegiate rivals, now Toronto ad men, draft hockey teams for a game to determine the winner of a lucrative government contract. On a wing and a prayer, Derek Marcotte scrapes together a motley crew of puck chasers. His marketing firm May-Ja-Look hangs in the balance, his pillow is double-parked and his knee mutters revenge with each waking step. It’s enough to make you part with your favorite hockey card. Drop the puck already!
Karen and Kevin have a happy home, with two loving kids and a cat. It’s an idyllic setting, full of laughter and hope, until one Christmas when Kevin gives fidget spinners to each member of the family. He has no idea what destructive consequences this will have.
Getting kicked out of church is just the beginning. Within a year their daughter is in foster care, their son is in jail, and the cat is missing. An even more terrible fate is about to befall Kevin. Karen struggles just to keep it together as fidget spinners crumble the very foundations of her life.
Full of uncomfortable situations and sordid details, Fidget Spinners Destroyed My Family is a suspenseful dark comedy of paranoia, obsession, and this year’s hottest new toy.
This book answers the question that everyone has been asking themselves, “What would you get if you combined the wit of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy with a touch of Lord of the Rings, a smidgen of Harry Potter, a hint of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe with a soupçon of Monty Python’s Flying Circus?” London Times Best Selling Author, Tim Langdell, brings us a laugh-out-loud romp through a fantastical universe occupied by good devils and bad angels, where nothing is as it seems.
Forewords Book of the Year, Kirkus Indie Best Lister, IBA and USA Book News finalist.
It’s the age-old tale: Boy meets girl. Boy stalks girl. Girl already has a stalker. Boy becomes her stalker-stalker. We’ve seen it all before, many times, but this time it’s different. If only slightly.
To leap-frog others in the polls, a Canadian grass roots political party does the unthinkable. At the grand opening of Canada’s 100th All-Mart store in the sleepy Ottawa suburb of Orleans, the Galvanized Anew Party kidnaps Prime Minister Kruster-LeClune and U.S. President Rushmore. It’s political activism at its most active. GAP policy advisor Ronald Greenwood has some explaining to do.
A quick read, Belisle wrote this political satire as part of Anvil Press’ 3-Day Novel competition. He maxed out at 33 pages per day.
Lust, mushrooms and the quest for immortality: meet Gwydion Turner, the inept, portentous, psychedelic demon raiser; a wannabe Crowley in crushed velvet. From Haight-Ashbury to Glastonbury, this eccentric figure has been known by many, but understood by few; just who, or what, is he?
The people of Glastonbury know only so much, although to them he is but one of any number of unconventional characters who grace the streets of their town. For the best part of the last decade, he has devoted himself to the ‘Great Work’, which he now believes himself to be upon the brink of realising; an esoteric activity that many, if not most, would regard as both incredible, and insane.
One night in September 1985, his partial disclosure of the nature of his occult activities reveals him to be far from the harmless buffoon that people had supposed. There is, it seems, a whiff of death about the man.
Is he a fraudster, or a sage? It’s for you to decide.
Life’s hard but it’s harder when you’re stupid. We all have moments of complete and utter failure, these are a few of mine. This book is a collection of six short stores of my most embarrassing and regretful moments for you to enjoy at my expense.